38 weeks

Well, we made it to 38 weeks.  I wasn't sure that was going to happen.
I know that not only are WE getting antsy, but I know everyone else is as well.  
It was funny to see people at church yesterday and all of them were like "umm...that baby still isn't out yet?"  Especially because a lot of them saw me on Friday night - when I was having regular contractions at about 6.5 minutes apart - standing, sitting, whatever.  Too bad they fizzled out when we got home.
And that is the story of my life right now.
Cramps start.  contractions go into gear.  They'll be consistently apart for a while.  They may even increase in strength and get closer together after a bit.  I feel them in the front AND back...and really low too.  Random sharp pains in the pelvis happen.  Then, after about an hour or two of this consistency...instead of continuing to increase in strength or getting closer together they just fizzle out.
Apparently God has a very specific day he wants this baby to be born...and it obviously hasn't happened yet.

The funny thing is that I was perfectly content to have this baby inside of me until the full 40 weeks... I was even expecting it to go longer...
...that is, until I started progressing so much.
There's just something about being 5cm, or there-about, and having the baby continuing to descend into the pelvic bone...and effacing happening...and having off and on contractions...that just makes you say "ok, seriously, what's the deal?  Why isn't this baby coming out?"

I had a dream Saturday night that really got to me too.  It wasn't a bad dream by any means.  But in my dream, I had been having contractions, so I called my midwife.  Then the whole midwife staff, and tons of other people were at my house, and once they got there, my contractions fizzled out.  When that happend, everyone just got up and left.  I appologized to my midwife for calling her to the house, and explained that I was just so scared that I was going to be delivering the baby by myself!
I woke up sobbing, and even after waking up fully, I couldn't stop sobbing for a while.
I didn't think that I was fearful.  But I think God gave me that dream to show me that I, in fact, was!  It brought everything out to the open.  I just sat there praying for a while, confessing my fears, and repenting for being fearful.  Then the Holy Spirit reminded me of a passage that we went over in BSF only a couple weeks ago from Isaiah 43:1-2 :

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when  you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."

The Lord was encouraging me, saying "You know, it doesn't really matter what happens - how this baby is born - or even if you have to do it by yourself.  You will NOT be alone.  I will be with you.  I will guide and direct you.  And even if this doesn't go as YOU plan, my plans are for your GOOD.   It will produce character that I otherwise would not be able to cultivate in you.  You will depend fully on me and my strength and my power, rather than your own.   So FEAR NOT.  This baby will come in my time, in my will.  I will give you what you need, when you need it - if you will just rely on me."

That pretty much sums it up.
No matter how much I'm dilated or effaced.  No matter what symptoms of labor I've already had.  No matter how many times I have contractions, or how much the baby continues to descend...
God is totally in control of this whole thing.  His timing is the best.
When we were considering homebirth in the first place, I remember struggling with the thought a bit.  Then the Lord just said "Don't fear.  Trust me."  It's like he's really wanting to teach me something through all of this.  Perhaps it's simply to trust.  Perhaps it's how to wait on him for his perfect timing.  Perhaps he wants to teach me to rely on His strength.  Or perhaps it's all of the above, and more.
Whatever the case, He's wanting to teach me something, and I have to be willing and open to his instruction and direction.

37 weeks (part 2)

So, here's an update:
Tuesday, after my appointment, the "bloody show" tapered off.  Then, that evening I had a lot more.  I called the midwife and she said it was probably a sign that I may be dilating some more...but that no matter what, it was definitely just another sign that my body was gearing up for labor even more.

Wednesday, I went to Ft.Worth for BSF, because nothing was going on.  About halfway through, at about 10:30, I started having some light contractions.  On the way home, I started feeling them in my back as well, and there seemed to be more of them.
When we got home, I got the kids in the stroller and went for an "easy" walk around the block (really, about a mile).
Then, I took a nap when the kids did.  I was actually able to sleep some, but I woke up because I was having some more contractions.  And the way I figured it, if they were strong enough to wake me up from a deep sleep, then I should really start paying attention to them.
I started timing them, and they were pretty inconsistent (anywhere from 4-8 min. apart), and not very strong, but they were definitely being felt from the back to the front, and then down to the pelvic bone.  Neil checked me when he got home from work and I had dilated to about a 4.5.  Called the midwife, just to tell  her what was going on, and she said to call her again when they increased in strength.
They seemed to be getting more consitent (4-6 min. apart) and a little bit stronger (but still able to talk through them, etc.) after dinner.  When the kids went to bed at 8, Neil checked me again, and I was more like a 5, and he said he thought I effaced just a bit too - but he's not good with figuring out percentages...he just knows that there was a change.
We got really excited and started getting stuff ready, but they started to fizzle out at about 9pm.  so sad :(

Last night I definitely had some contractions while sleeping, and a couple of them woke me up.
So far today, I've had some contractions, but nothing strong at all...I'd say even lighter than yesterday so far.  I may go for a long walk today...
We'll just have to see what happens.
At 5 cm, I'm thinking it could seriously be anytime.  I'm actually a little curious as to how in the world labor didn't start last night...
But my biggest concern is that I'm already halfway dilated...
My labors are usually pretty quick without being dilated much, if any...
Good thing we're doing a homebirth, and we have the birthing supplies here, at the house!

So, pray for wisdom for me - that everything goes smoothly - and that this baby would come at God's perfect time!

37 weeks

Another appointment today...

* Dilated to about a 3.5.  She said the cervix is open more at the bottom (about a 4) than the top (3.5).
* Effaced the same - about 70%
* Baby is at a -1 station (so, starting to enter into the pelvic bone).  First thing Melody said to me when she saw me today was "You look lower!"  I hadn't really noticed...then I thought about it...maybe I have been walking a little bit differently...but nothing like feeling like I have a basketball between my legs, like some people describe it.  But, during the exam it was confirmed...it's definitely lower.
* Mucus plug is gone.  There was definitely some bloody show when they checked me today.  Apparently the mucus plug has a way of continuing to replenish itself...so you can continue to lose bits of it until you go into labor...welcome to my life - yeah...gross.
* I got my burst of energy (nesting) yesterday.  I started cleaning the entire house.  Vacuumed the entire house, did the dishes, did ALL of the laundry (about 6 loads) and it was all folded and put away before Neil got home, cleaned all 2.5 bathrooms, cooked, picked up clutter, did school-time with Bella, AND had time to spend with the Lord (which was difficult, because I didn't want to sit still!)  I think it was the most productive day I've had in my entire life!  And am I tired today? no!  First thing this morning, I decided to vacuum out the van (who does that?) and I've been cleaning windows, dusting, cleaning out the refrigerator, and trying to figure out what else I can do...sewing isn't active enough!
* Saw the pregnancy chiropractor again today.  She adjusted my hips and pelvic bone again.  She's been working on my lower back, because I've had some pain on the left side of my tailbone - apparently it's because the right side was off, so the I was feeling grinding on the left side.  Today I left feeling the best I have thus far - no pain at all on that left side!  yeah!  She also worked on my sinuses again, which makes me happy - it seems to really be helping.  The chiropractor warned me that because my body seems to be already gearing up for labor, that adjusting me could put me over the edge (aka get labor started).  So far nothing, other than some braxton-hicks and some sharp pelvic/cervical pains.  But you never know...
The kids also got adjustments again - and both of their pelvic bones were out of line on the same side as mine.  so weird.  She said that it was an indicator of stress - that the kids may be picking up on my stress or whatever - seeing the big change coming of a new baby.  So crazy. 

Anyway...so now we play the waiting game...and I'm trying to not go crazy in the meantime.

36 weeks (part 3)

Not trying to gross anyone out, but the mucus plug is officially gone.  Lost it this morning.  I called Melody (midwife) to ask about it -and she confirmed that it was indeed my mucus plug.  Gross.
I know this doesn't mean that labor is necessarily imminent.  Just like dilation, it could still be weeks.  But it tells us that my body is definitely getting ready for labor.

This is yet another way that this pregnancy is different than the last two.  I've never lost my plug before labor started.  So...dilating and effacing more...lost the plug...I'm seeing now that I really shouldn't have any expectations as far as how this labor is going to progress.
We'll see what happens...

36 weeks (part 2)

Not the best "Belly" picture...but a picture nonetheless...I've pretty much had to take all of them myself...I'm running out of ideas.



So Tuesday, I had another midwife appointment.
* I gained about 2 lbs. Same scale.  different floor.  My weight has been going up and down for like a month now...I don't think I've really had consistent weight-gain in a while.  o-well...
* My GBS test came back NEGATIVE!!  yeah!!  It's the first time that's ever happened.  So, I have to keep taking my probiotics to keep it that way, so we don't have to worry about doing anything special during labor.
* I'm slightly anemic (like, just under the border-line), so they put me on another herbal supplement called Floradix herbs + iron - a liquid all-natural supplement that doesn't have the constipation side-affects that most iron supplements have.

It's kinda crazy.  I feel like I'm taking more stuff being pregnant than I ever do NOT pregnant.  No medicines, so to speak...everything is all-natural, but for real - it's kinda hard to keep up with it all.
Breakfast - iron supplement, prenatal vitamins, 5-week formula
lunch - 5-week formula
Dinner - iron supplement, 5-week formula, pro-biotics.
But hey - if it is going to make me and my baby healthier for labor and delivery, I'm all for it.

* I had an exam to check for dilation....and I'm already at 3cm and 70% effaced.  Usually at this point I MIGHT be about 1cm (if that), and effaced about 25%.  Apparently, the 5-week formula is doing it's job to get my body ready for labor.  One thing it supposedly does is aide in dilation before labor starts so that labor itself is easier.  It also says it brings the body into balance - so people with longer labors have shorter ones, and those who have really short labors have more average-length ones.  I'm a little worried how fast this labor will be if I'm dilating more before-hand though.  We'll just have to see.
And I know that this doesn't mean labor could happen tomorrow.  I could be walking around like this (or even more progressed) for weeks before labor starts.  Again, we'll just have to see what happens.

* In the meantime, I've been having a LOT of Braxton-Hicks contractions, that are apparently doing something... and I've been having a lot of back pain too.  I saw the pregnancy chiropractor Tuesday as well, and she aligned my back, hips, pelvic bone, neck - the works.  She also used pressure points on my sinuses to help open them up so I can breathe more easily - and my nose was running like crazy on the drive home!  She did the same for Bella's sinuses, and gave Bella and Balian "mini" adjustments.  Bella has been fighting a cold, and not only did her sinuses need help, but her neck and back were a little bit out because of coughing a lot.  so interesting...Bella seems to be feeling much better today though - I don't think I've heard her cough once.  Oh, and just FYI, here's a list of some homeopathic decongestants that she told me about:
1. Put Apple Cider Vinegar in a humidifier.  smells bad, but she says it works great.
2. Onion.  French Onion Soup, or boil an onion for a couple hours, then take 1-2 tsp. of the juice every couple of hours.
3. Peppermint.  Pretty much just keep the Altoids coming, drink peppermint tea, or put some peppermint oil on your chest to breathe it throughout the day.
4. Xclear - an all-natural nasal spray that has Xilotol, saline, and grapefruit seed extract in it.  Tastes sweet if it goes down your throat, and you can use it as many times as you want throughout the day.  I've actually used this before, and I do like it - it just doesn't really work when you reach sinus infection status.
5. of course, there's the Netti Pot, but I'm kinda hesitant to try it out right now, simply because my gag reflex is so bad right now...maybe after the baby is here, if I still need it...

I think that's it for now....

36 weeks

I'll be 36 weeks TOMORROW!!  So crazy to think about.

We had our home-visit yesterday with our 2 midwives, Melody and Joni, and one of the new apprintices/assistant midwives, Sarah.  Pretty much they just did a walk-through of the house to get used to the layout, and see what resources we had available for the birth. 
* They confirmed that our bathtub would definitely be good enough to use for a waterbirth, if we so desired - just to make sure the bath and jets are cleaned out well with bleach-water, and to turn up the water heater when labor starts :)
* They instructed us on how to make our bed (when labor starts).  Good sheets on the bottom, a fitted vinyl sheet on top of that, then a set of sheets on top that we don't mind getting soiled.
* They saw that I had all my birthing supplies together in a Rubbermaid container - so we're good to go.

Then, we just spent some time talking about what our thoughts are about how we want the birth to go - our "birth plan" so to speak.  Of course, Neil and I are just so excited to be having this baby born at home, knowing how much more comfortable we'll be, that we don't really have a birth plan.  It's not like going to the hospital, and wanting to do things as natural as possible, and having to be a big-time advocate for that.  I don't have to have this long list of things I don't want (like not wanting an IV, not wanting monitors or asking for occassional monitoring, not wanting them to break my water, and no drugs - and Don't ask me!) or the things I do want (like holding the baby and feeding ASAP).  All of these things are just a given with a homebirth...so really, we're totally ok with just going with the flow...
ahhh....laboring in a nice warm bathtub (and birthing in there, if I so desire)....not being attatched to monitors or IVs...being able to move around and do whatever I want, in any position I want...being able to (and encouraged to) eat snacks and drink water throughout labor so I have some good energy for that workload...having contact with the baby right after birth, and feeding...having an herbal bath with my baby to help healing along, while the midwives and assistants gather up the soiled linens and put them in the wash for me...a home-cooked meal (either pre-made, frozen, and heated or made fresh by mom) ready to eat to replenish all that energy I used...I'm definitely looking forward to this one.

Then, I had my regular appointment, here, at the house.
* Somehow I lost about 2 lbs.  Not really sure how that happened.  I feel like I've been eating more the past week or so, and I've been getting the water and protein I need.  I would think my muscle mass should be long gone by now...  So, as of now, I've gained a total of 20 lbs. 
* Everything else looked good.  Urine was good, baby is measuring right on, and the heartbeat is going strong.  When Melody was checking the baby's positioning, her words were "Wow, that baby's low!" ha.  The head isn't engaged into the pelvic bone yet, but it's about as low as it can be without being engaged.  She also said that the baby seemed to be as far back as it could be  (toward my spine).  I suppose that may be one of the reasons I've been having a lot of back pain lately.  Melody also gave a rough estimate (based on feeling the baby's size) that she thinks the baby is right at about 5 lbs. right now.  I know it's a very rough estimate, but still neat.
* I did the GBS test.  I've been taking a pretty kickin' probiotic formula everyday for the past couple of weeks...I guess I'll find out this week what the results are, and if the probiotics helped at all.  I've tested positive while pregnant with both of the other kiddos.  But don't worry!  There is a non-IV way of treating GBS during labor.  So if I test positive, that doesn't mean I can't have a homebirth.  Actually, if I test positive, they may up my probiotics, and test me again in about 2 weeks to see if it's cleared up.

ok, so now the fun part - If you want to, now is your time to guess when this baby will be here!
Date, weight, length...and...boy or girl?
Due date is March 20.

34 weeks

I finally was able to make it to the midwife this morning.  After all of the ice and snow last week, my appointment kept getting postponed...so today was the day!

Everything looks good. 
* Blood Pressure is good, as always.
* Glucose and Protein levels were normal. 
* I gained a bit of weight (about 2 lbs.), so I've gained a total of 22 lbs. so far.
* It was confirmed that the baby has dropped.  However, she wasn't concerned about it.  She said that every pregnancy is different, and some women's babies drop earlier in subsequent pregnancies due to the body having "memory" - we'll see what happens.
* I checked out the Bradley Method book to go over as a refresher.  It hasn't been that long since Balian was born, but it's always nice to be prepared.
* I bought my bottle of the "5 week formula" and I'm supposed to start taking it next week.  Apparently another good thing about it is that it generally keeps women from going way over their due date.  Good to know - placental breakdown was one of my concerns, since they don't induce at all...so it helps me to feel better about that one :)
* I returned the circumcision video that I checked out last time, and we talked about what I thought about it.  It was definitely informative...We wish that we had all that information before Balian was born to make a more educated decision, but at the same time it brought about more questions for Neil and I.  The main one being this: If circumcision causes loss of sensitivity and a lower sex-drive in men, then how much more difficult is it for an uncircumcised man to deal with sexual temptation on a daily basis - especially before marriage?  If those sensitivities are heightened on a daily basis for an uncircumcised man, would we want to circumcise to "help a brotha out" (so to speak) during those years, or should we not circumcise so that he has more sensitivity and greater sex drive for the rest of his potentially married life?  It's a tough decision, and although we aren't Jewish, we would be willing to circumcise based on how it may affect a son's future relationship with the Lord.  On all the other aspects of circumcision - we're sold on that it isn't necessary - medically or otherwise - especially in the religious aspect.   Timothy wasn't circumcised, and Paul talks so much about how it's circumcision of the heart that matters.  This one's just the biggy for us.  Hopefully we'll have a girl so we don't have to worry about it :)

My next appointment will be here, at the house next Friday.  I have to have all of my home birth supplies together, so they know we have everything.  I bought all the stuff I needed the other day.  It was interesting to shop for Depends and protector pads from the adult diaper section of walmart - I got some interesting looks...

We're looking into buying a baby scale to help ease my mind a bit with breastfeeding this time around.  If I know that the baby is getting enough, then I'll be less stressed out about it - which will help all-around.  Has anyone used a baby scale at home before to measure how much the baby is getting?  The ones I've looked at are accurate up to either .5 oz or as little as .1 oz.  I know the Madela ones people rent from the hospital are accurate up to .1 oz, but I didn't know if that was REALLY necessary.  If anyone has had a good outcome with a particular scale, I'd appreciate some feedback :)

I've officially stopped running.  Since the baby has dropped, I'm having a lot more pressure and more Braxton-Hicks, so I figured I should stop.  It's hard though...part of me is like "do you really want to stop?"  The answer is no, but I know it's best for both me and the baby.  I'm excited that I did my last run at 32 weeks.  With Balian I was only able to run to 16 weeks, so I was able to go twice as long this time.  I can't complain about that!  It'll make it that much easier to get back up and going after the baby is born.

The baby room is all set-up!  I made good use of our "iced-in" days last week.  I'll post pictures soon...not that it's any different than it usually is...

33 weeks

I don't know if you can tell in this picture, but Saturday night (the night before this picture was taken) the baby did some dropping.  I woke up Sunday morning, and immediately noticed a difference - my belly was just lower!  Ha.  This has never happened to me before!  Bella and Balian never dropped before active labor started - at all.  Not to say that the baby has totally dropped - I think there's more to be done - but everything about this pregnancy has been different.  Makes me wonder how much it has to do with God healing my bicornuate uterus.  Anyway, so about halfway through Sunday, I started having much more pressure and started having a lot of Braxton-Hicks.  I wasn't dehydrated (I had 4 L of water the day before, and had already had 2 L of water for the day).  I took a nap, and they continued.  I took it as easy as I could the rest of the day. 

The only thing I can think of is that I just did way too much on Saturday.  We had gone to my parents' house to help them get a room ready for my grandmother coming to stay for a couple of days.  I was working pretty much non-stop for about 5 or 6 hours.  Neil yelled at me one time because he caught me doing something that he said I shouldn't be doing while pregnant (attempting to put bed raisers under a bed - with mattress and box spring on it - by myself). 

Neil: "Pam!  You're Pregnant!" 

Me: "So."

Stephen (my brother): "Stubborn women in our family..."

Then, of course, the guys took over the job. 

The good news is that I haven't had any problems so far today (Monday).  However, I guess I know my limitations now.

Midwife appointment tomorrow.  I'll post on that later.

31 weeks

I had another appointment this week (Tuesday) with the midwife.  Everything looks good. 
* Baby is head-down still, and is in a good position (as far as rotation) for birth later.  It was pretty cool.  She put my hands on my belly to feel the baby's head, and then showed me how to follow the head down, and feel the neck and then the shoulders, etc.  pretty neat stuff.
* I got my blood drawn to check for anemia, but I'm good to go.
* They don't do a glucose test as standard of care - only if they see signs of glucose issues in the urine first (or other signs that gestational diabetes may be an issue).  Since I haven't shown any signs of anything, I don't have to do it - yeah!!
*  I gained back some weight this time, which is good.  I've gained a total of 20 lbs. so far.
* we went over all kinds of stuff - from handling GBS (Group B Strep) during labor (and how to decrease the chance of testing positive for it in the first place), the Vitamin K shot and eye gel for the baby when its born, to circumcision if we have a boy.  She actually sent me home with a video about circumcision.  Kinda weird, but ok.  Haven't watched it yet.

* There's going to be a breast-feeding support group/ class through the birthing center that actually starts tomorrow.  My friend Emily (the only person I know that has done a homebirth) is helping lead it.  I'm bummed about it though, because I can't go - It's during BSF. :(

* Today I ran for the first time in about 8 weeks (due to the sinus infection I've been battling forever and have finally overcome).  I took it easy - walked a quarter mile, ran a mile (in about 14 min. ha.), and walked another quarter mile.  I had some braxton hicks, but nothing really bad.  I shared all of this with the midwife, and she was very encouraging about the running.  She said that braxton hicks were going to happen - just to do what I felt comfortable doing and not to push myself too hard - but to go for it as long as I wasn't having any problems.

*I saw the pregnancy chiropractor at the birthing center, and it was great!!  She explained to me everything that she saw as problems (my legs weren't the same length due to my hips being out...she looked at something else and said that my pelvic bone was out of line...she found tension in one part of my back and asked if I had been getting enough water, or if I had been stressed out...) and how it would help get the baby (or keep the baby) in the right position simply by adjusting those things.  Pretty neat.  My hips had been randomly popping lately, and hurting at times, but she said it should feel better after adjusting the problem areas.  I do feel tons better.  Hooray for a wholistic approach to prenatal care :)

*I'm not sure if I mentioned this already:
At 35 weeks I'm going to start taking what they call "The 5-week Formula".  It's an herbal supplement that is supposed to kinda just bring the body into balance.  Specifically, if you have very long or very short labors, it's supposed to help labor be easier and more "average" in length.  It also does things like helps in the production of quality milk in the mother, aides in separation of the placenta, have larger dilation before discomfort arises, minimizes postpartum bleeding, reduces the risk of hemmorage, etc.  They pretty much encourage everyone to take it, but definitely someone like me who tends to have "fast and furious" labors.

Anyway, I guess that's it for now.

29 weeks

I had a prenatal appointment with the midwife on Tuesday.

*Baby is still head-down
*I lost almost 2 lbs. Not sure how that happened over Christmas and New Year's, but ok...perhaps the sinus infection is the reason (or not running because of it, and therefore losing muscle mass) hmm.. I've gained a total of about 17 lbs. at this point. I usually gain 25-30 total, so I think I'm doing good with what's normal for me.
*I got my "Homebirth Checklist" - a list of all the things I need to have on hand for the birth. My 36-week appointment will be at my house, so they can scope it out and see what all the possibilities are...and I think I have to have everything on the checklist ready at that appointment.

Time seems to be flying by...
seriously? 11 weeks left? crazy.

If you want to see a picture, look at the Jones Family picture...it was taken this week :)

27 weeks

I can't believe I'm 27 weeks already! Time is flying by so quickly!

I had an appointment with the midwife today, and everything looks good.

* I actually gained about 5 lbs.

* I'm not measuring large anymore...I'm right on track.

* The baby appears to be head-down

Now I start going every 2 weeks for prenatal visits.

I had some discomfort last week because the baby was trying to continue to lie transverse (sideways) but was running out of room! luckily it only lasted for about a day before it decided to change positions :)

And speaking of baby positioning - I checked out a book from the birth center about how to tell what position the baby is in. it's called "The Belly Mapping Workbook: How kicks and wiggles reveal your baby's position" by Gail Tully. I'm excited to get into it.

Now, the biggest thing is getting rid of this stubborn head-cold that I've had for about 3 weeks. I haven't been able to run because of it (running with a cold just makes it worse for me). The midwife suggested I get on some pro-biotics (grapefruit seed extract, etc.) to build up my immune system. Hopefully it works. My go-to stuff (Claritin-D) just isn't cutting it this time. so sad.

23 weeks

This picture was taken at about 20 weeks...oh well. It's the newest one I have.

We had our 2nd ultrasound on Monday. It was odd to not find out what we're going to have, and HARD not to look too! But I'm excited about being surprised. Everything about this birth is going to be so different...and I'm excited about it all.

I love to watch my babies during the ultrasound. They usually have mannerisms that they continue to have after they're born. Bella likes her hands in her mouth...Balian crosses his ankles all the time... This baby was laying it's hand over it's face - so cute...perhaps we'll see he/she sleeping like that once it's out :) The baby also had the hiccups. so cute :)

Everything looked good. due date is right on with the baby's measurements - March 20.

We also had a prenatal appointment with the midwife yesterday. Everything went well. urine looked good, I gained about 2 lbs. in a month, and I'm measuring about 1 week large for the first time ever. ha. One kinda funny thing that happened - the midwife-in-training was having a hard time finding the heart rate...so the midwife came over, felt around on my belly, put her finger where she thought the heart should be, and sure enough, she was right on the money. Ha. makes me laugh every time. She said that my next appointment they'll have me check out a book about baby positioning, so that I can tell exactly what the baby's position is at all times - and what's digging into my side as well ;)

We did check out a video on water birth - just to look at it as an option. Interesting stuff. Didn't seem as messy as I thought it would...and the most interesting thing to me is that none of the babies came out screaming - they were all definitely alert, but as calm as could be. Something to think about.

Running: I've probably averaged running about once per week. Not as much as I would like, but doing anything is better than what I've been able to do before at this point, so I'm excited. Perhaps with it getting colder, the treadmill will get more use and I'll run more often - we'll see. I'm going at about a 12 min. pace for about 3 miles at a time right now. The biggest problem has been my knees hurting, but I think that mainly has to do with going slower and therefore shortening my stride. That always makes my legs hurt. I'm sure more weight putting pressure on joints has something to do with it too, but when I run the pace I really want to (my comfortable pace - faster) my knees don't hurt. I have discovered that the Belly Bands that you can use to help wear pre-pregnancy pants longer is a great belly support for running. It holds the belly in a bit, so there's less bouncing, and that means being overall more comfortable...and less potty breaks too.

17 weeks

ok, seriously...how sad is it that this is my FIRST pregnancy picture of the pregnancy so far? It's horrible. Neil is not one to take any pictures...so I have to rely on creatively figuring out how I can do it myself. So...here's my first shot @17.5 weeks.

Just in the past couple of days I've gotten to that "my belly is tired" stage - when I realize that I've been naturally holding in my belly like I always do, and my abs (and the baby) are starting to resist. My abs get tired, and I finally am forced to relax...and I immediately look a LOT more pregnant. Amazing thing...

Oh, and we've decided to NOT find out what this baby is going to be. We have one of each, and we have everything we need for either one, and our nursery(as well as a lot of the other baby stuff) is gender-neutral, so we're just going to wash the gender-neutral newborn stuff (or both tubs of newborn clothes) and go from there.

of course, I think I know what it is anyway...I always do. And so far, I've been right both times. Bella keeps saying that she's going to be having a baby sister. we'll have to wait and see...

So far, I'm still running, though not as consistent as I would like, and I've had NO problems so far. Not one braxton hicks contraction. I had to stop running @ 16 weeks with Balian, and even earlier with Bella. I'm just going to run as long as I can this time around, just like the other times...only one difference - no bicornuate uterus - and that makes a HUGE difference! I think it would be fabulous to run at least until the beginning of the 3rd trimester (28 weeks). we'll see. I'm not pushing it - seriously. I'm only doing about 2.5-3 miles at a time and averaging about an 11-12 min. pace. Sometimes even slower than that - depepends on the day - how I'm feeling, what my heartrate is like, if I'm pushing both kids in the stroller, etc.

I'm starting to feel the baby move a lot at night. I felt it move once or twice at about 13 weeks, a couple of times at about 16 weeks, but the past couple of days, it's gotten really active. Last night I was carrying Balian, and apparently the baby didn't like Balian's knee digging into my belly, so it was kicking Balian's knee. Almost felt like muscle spasms - and it tickled! ha. Amazing how every pregnancy is different!

Midwife update

So we decided on a midwife to use. It pretty much came down to distance... when considering not just the birth, but every prenatal and postpartum appointment as well...it was a pretty important factor. We've decided to go with the Cleburne Birthing Center and our midwife will be Melody Morrow.

I had my first appointment yesterday morning. Most of the appointment was just like going to an OB - the urine testing, checking the baby's heartbeat, measuring the uterus, asking lots of questions (about past pregnancies, family history, etc.). Some things were very different though.

1. I learned to test my own urine sample. I did the normal thing, but instead of giving it to a nurse to test, I got a strip of litmus paper squares, dipped it in the sample, waited, and compared the colors on the squares to what they were supposed to look like...so I could see if my protein, glucose, and the like were the way they were supposed to be, then reported the results to the midwife.

2. While going over all the paperwork with the midwife, the kids read books, played with toys, played with the assistant midwives, hung out with the other people there, and just had a grand 'ol time. Nobody minded them roaming around and playing. Nobody minded helping me out with them when needed. One of the midwives even let Balian climb the stairs, and stayed right there behind him the whole time while I was finishing up some paperwork and payment stuff.

3. They have free water and snacks for anybody who comes...nutrigrain bars, crackers, etc., and animal crackers for the kids.

4. There's a toy box in every room that appointments happen in. The lobby, the exam room, the sitting area upstairs...the kids always had something to play with to keep them occupied while I took care of my thing. so wonderful!

5. I didn't feel rushed at all. I felt like I every question I had got completely answered, and more. All-over, I felt so incredibly encouraged.

6. I was educated about nutrition like I never have before. Did you know that a pregnant woman needs 90-100g of protein and 3-4 Liters of water (that's 12-16 glasses...or 96-128 OUNCES) EVERY DAY? I was given information sheets about foods that contain protein and iron, and how much they have. I was also given a Food Diary to keep for the next 2 weeks...so that they can see if I'm getting enough water and protein...and an estimation of my caloric intake.

7. I wasn't hounded about doing the down syndrome and cystic fibrosis tests when filling out the consent forms. They referred to them as "not really necessary". And when talking about STD testing (minus the first HIV test required by law), it isn't an automatic thing that they do...they asked if I thought I needed it. I said "nope. that's the beauty of saving sex for marriage." and they just said "sure is!"

8. I was greeted with hugs, as well as got hugs on my way out.

Can you tell I'm excited about using a midwife?

One big thing we have to decide: Home birth or Birthing Center? The reason it's even up for debate (we were already set for doing home birth) is that we found out that our insurance will cover midwife care, if I deliver at the birthing center...but they won't cover a home birth. We didn't think they covered anything, and thought we'd be paying for it all (which really isn't much at all compared to what out-of-pocket expenses are for a hospital birth, even if you're only paying 20%). Apparently that's not the case, and they'll cover the birthing centers...for some reason insurance companies think there's a big difference between a birthing center and home (which there's really not as far as standard of care and resources).
Anyway, still a big decision. But we don't have to decide for sure until 36 weeks...so we have some time to really think it over.

Midwives

Last time was home-schooling. Now we're on to home-birthing.... ha.

So I started going to an OB at the beginning of this pregnancy. Got a great recommendation from a friend. Did the lab work, had my first ultrasound...the whole bit. Neil went with me to the ultrasound/appointment, and after the appointment, he was like "She seems like a great doctor, but she just talks so fast, and I just don't think I got any questions answered that I expected to have answered today...I just felt really rushed."
Neil hasn't really been to a lot of OB appointments in the past...and I kinda got used to how they went, and didn't' really have super-high expectations. No biggy. He seemed kinda bothered by it though. He also was like "the hospital she delivers at is 45 minutes away? umm...Pam, I really don't want to deliver a baby on the side of the road. I would have no idea what to do."

so, I told Neil that I would try to get some recommendations for some doctors in town that delivered at the hospital that's only 15 minutes away.
I got some recommendations, and I was planning on calling and making some consultations.

Then, I was talking to a girl at church, who was due to birth baby #2 in just a couple of weeks. She mentioned in the course of that conversation that she was planning on having a home birth. This was only the second time I had met someone who had done a home birth (the last one being a week before having Balian), but for some reason this time it just kinda caught me off-guard and really made me think...

I have never even considered planning a home birth. I always said "oh, I could NEVER have a home birth...way too scary."
But somehow, I found myself waking up that night, thinking about the possibility of that very thing.

Neil was in Korea at the time for his reserves 2-week training/deployment and he called me the next night. I just mentioned to him the conversation I had with the lady at church, and at the word home birth, he immediately said "YES! I want to know everything there is to know about having a home birth." I was totally in shock. apparently Neil had been thinking about home birth for a while, but was just waiting until I warmed up to the idea. ha! never would have guessed that one!

So...I started my research. Being the research-loving person that I am...I did a LOT of research! And I'm still researching!
It's amazing how much information you can find on this stuff. There's been documentaries done "The Business of Being Born" and "Orgasmic Birth" (which they probably just titled that way to get people to watch it...) and there's all kinds of research that has been done about how our country compares to other developed nations as far as c-section rates, infant and maternal mortality rates, and how that all has to do with OBs and hospitals vs. midwives and non-hospital births (birthing centers and home births). The more I read about the model of midwifery care, the more comfortable I felt with the idea...and not only that, but I also started to really LIKE the idea...and started getting excited about it. what?
I called two different midwives to set up consultations. That in itself was amazing. The midwives themselves answered the phone, set up the consultations, asked me some questions, and asked if I had any questions. I was probably on the phone with each midwife for anywhere from 15-20 minutes...and all of my questions at that point (do I even qualify for a home birth? what about precipitous labor? what about GBS? do you do stitches? how do you handle the possibility of hemorrhaging?, etc.) were totally answered by the time I was off the phone. Not only that, but each midwife explained that they would take me on a tour of the birthing center, and afterward we would have question and answer time to get to know each other better...and that this would probably take about an hour or so.
seriously? you're going to take an hour to answer all of my questions and show me how you're going to take care of me? You mean I'm not going to be waiting for an hour, and then getting about 5 minutes with you where I feel rushed and unsure about if I have any questions?

well, after my two consultation appointments with two different midwives, Neil and I are SOLD with the amazing level of individual care - and of course, the more wholistic approach to pregnancy and childbirth in general.
What? I don't have to be strapped to a bed with IVs and monitors? I can move around as much as I want, get in the bathtub if I want, have a water-birth if I so desire, eat and drink during labor, and have a home-cooked meal and an herbal bath with my baby after it's all said and done? I can breastfeed ASAP and have breastfeeding support at my fingertips as well as more post-partum care that includes baby care as well? (2 days, 2 weeks, 6 weeks, more in there if needed...some even do up to 12 weeks).
Anyway, we're super-excited. Now, we just have to decide WHO to use. And considering how great both options are, it may be a pretty difficult decision. we'll see!

Some News Bites

I wish I were giving an update on my post from a couple weeks ago (oh, the possibilities...), but nothing has really come of it yet. So yeah...still not gonna clue anyone in on that one yet.
However, we've got some other news bites that I wanted to share:

1. Balian has been cutting teeth like crazy. He cut both of his bottom middle teeth within a week. Now, on week 2, he's working on his first top tooth. He's also cruising around furniture like crazy, and accidentally letting go for a couple of milliseconds...only until he realizes that he's not holding on to something and immediately does so. Not sure when this boy is going to start walking. Probably a week and a half after his first birthday, just like Bella...he's followed her footsteps on everything else! Totally has the strength already...just not the guts. He's so careful for a boy.

2. Neil is off on his 2-week deployment that he has to do once/ year for the Navy Reserves. we don't think the boat he's on is actually going to go out at all, which is nice, but he's still on the other side of the world, so it still seems like it. But two weeks vs. 2-4 months is NOTHING in comparison!

3. Bella has learned all of her uppercase and lowercase letters. we've been working on her letter sounds for a while now, and she knows all of them except for the vowels. She can get the short sounds, but the whole "letter saying it's name" thing just totally goes over her head apparently... and if she does get it for a bit, then she thinks that EVERY letter says it's name...I can see how it would be confusing. Any suggestions on how to help her out would be greatly appreciated. I've tried making up silly poems to help her out and everything. anyway, as soon as she learns ALL of her letter sounds, I'm taking her to the "beach". Our beach is Granbury City Beach, which is amazingly a pretty nice beach/park on Lake Granbury - with good sand, and water with only "lake waves". Perfect fit for Bella!

4. I'm slowly learning to drive Neil's car...it's a standard. So far, I've only driven it once out of our neighborhood, but our neighborhood is pretty huge. Now I'm working on driving it to church on Sunday mornings...less traffic. once I master that, I'll probably branch out and do more :)

5. We're pregnant again.

Did that catch you off guard? yes, it did us too - shockingly, actually. I think I'm still in shock and I've known for about 5 weeks now.

To answer some questions that I know you're wondering:

- why so shocking? I was on BC for 3 months to help regulate hormones because of the PPD. I was feeling good, so we decided to do a trial and get off of it and see if I still felt good. I had absolutely NO fertility signs, and we still got pregnant. only us, right? Oh, and then the funny part is that at about the time I was supposed to start, my temp dropped just like it should...SIKE! (yes, I just typed that). It totally shot up again after that...and on day 17 of high temps, I was like "wow. I'm pregnant." so no fertility signs, then no symptoms of pregnancy at all like I usually have early on...nothing. but sure enough...we got two lines. Just goes to show that God is totally in control. He does what he wills, whether its in our plans or not. He Blesses us when we least expect it.

- I'm 9 weeks pregnant.

- I'm due March 20

- Balian and the baby will have an age difference of 18 months.

- Boy or girl doesn't really matter to me, but I already think it's a girl. I could totally be wrong though.

- This pregnancy has been the worst so far with how I feel. I'm so much more nauseated...but the worst part is that like always with me...I never actually get sick. So I just feel horrible all the time with no real relief except for sleep. I feel bad when I'm hungry...or when I just ate. I feel bad because of the heat...or because I'm in a moving car...or because I just do for no reason at all... and it's all like this heartburn-ish yet dizzy kind of nausea. horrible. Luckily, my dad had these Sea Bands that he uses for motion sickness that are also supposed to work with morning sickness...and it totally helps! They're like sweatbands that you wear on your wrists that have this bead on them that you put over a certain pressure point on the wrist. Totally great!

- I've had my first Dr.'s appointment and my first ultrasound.

- I NO LONGER have a BICORNUATE UTERUS!!! Praise the LORD!! Apparently Balian stretched it out, and I'm normal now!

- I may end up changing doctors because of proximity to the hospital. The doc I'm currently going to now doesn't deliver in town - she delivers in Ft. Worth at Harris Methodist SW, which is an AMAZING hospital - especially for labor and delivery...but problem is that it's 45 min. away. If it worked out like the last two kids, and I was at the hospital already before going into labor, that would be great, but we just don't know that. The hospital here, in town is only 15 minutes away. I'm going to try to go on a tour of the maternity ward, and set up a consultation with a doc that was recommended to me that delivers in town.

- we will be looking into getting a minivan (yes...those words just came out...can't believe it. never say never, I suppose.)

- lets just say that we've been totally spoiled by the Navy when it comes to maternity care. :)

I guess that's all for now!

Doctor Update

so...this afternoon was a pretty interesting/stressful doctor's visit.

1. I'm 38 weeks and 3 days at this point.
2. no change...still 2 cm and 50% effaced.

3. Inducing Update: The earliest they can do it is next Tuesday, Sept. 15. Apparently, according to "Standard of Care" they can't do an induction even a day earlier than 39 weeks...then, the hospital has regulations that they can't do one on the weekend...and guess what? they're booked for Monday...so, that leaves us with Tuesday.
So...we'll see what happens between now and then.

4. The Good news: My doctor is on call this weekend, should I go into labor :)

5. Now, for the bad news: The flu and the swine flu have been pretty bad here. I already knew this, because Neil had told me about reported cases on base...and some of those have been on HIS BOAT! Anyway, because of this, and because of updated statistics that have shown that there have been infant, new mama, and pregnant mama deaths because of the craziness (they are some of the highest at-risk for mortality due to the flu/ swine flu).

what this means:
a. No children are allowed in the maternity ward (meaning, Bella can't come see her baby brother in the hospital)
b. I won't be able to have any visitors other than Neil, and MAYBE ONE other person.
c. they may release us after 24 hours, rather than the 48 that is usually governed by GA state law - so that the baby can be in a less risky environment.
d. they are suggesting limited people come to the house once released, and they don't want moms and babies to leave the house for 6 weeks! no walmart, no church, no nothing.
e. I need to get a flu shot.

Neil's main concern is the fact that there are cases on the boat. He's not really sure what to do about it.

so...
1. Pray for the labor to go smoothly, and that it happens in God's right timing - even if that right timing is Tuesday for an induction.
2. Pray for protection over Neil, myself, and our little one when he comes.

I know that God has us covered. I know that He is our Protector, our Shelter, our Refuge, and our Strength.
I feel like everyday I'm fighting more and more to not be anxious about anything, but I'm trying to give it to the Lord every time my thoughts are consumed by the "what ifs."
May He give us PEACE which passes every bit of our understanding.
I know He will. And I'm standing on those promises!

37 weeks

so, this was a week ago. My friend Ann, from church, asked if she could take pregnancy pictures of me last weekend. She's never done maternity pictures before, and wanted some practice...and wanted to experiment with different things - so I was her guinea pig :) It was a ton of fun! There's tons more pictures that I'll share later on, but here's just one for now to show how big the belly is...

Doctor visit

Monday I had another OB appointment...so here we go!

1. I'm 37 weeks pregnant - officially full-term!! yeah!!

2. I gained my 1 pound, putting me at 25 lbs. gained - the minimum my doctor wanted me to gain - so that's good.

3. Balian is doing great.

4. Sadly, no progression. I'm still "definitely" 2cm and 50% effaced.

I know that some women progress to a certain point before labor and that's it - until they go into labor. I'm actually amazed that I've progressed at all, considering ALL of my progression with Bella happened in just hours!

As much as I hate sharp pains that almost make me weak in the knees at times, my back hurting almost constantly at this point, and having really painful braxton hicks contractions that keep me up for hours at night sometimes...
I'm actually very happy that he's still in there.
I want him to grow and develop until he's fully ready to come out.

Most importantly though, I know that God's timing is perfect. There's more to it than my comfort level. I think that God is waiting until family can be here for a while to support, take care of, and help us out for a while. And looking at the big picture, that's the best scinario for our entire family. No matter how impatient I may have the tendency to be at times...

5. my next appointment is going to be Tuesday, Sept. 8. I'll be about 38.5 weeks at that point...so I'm sure my doctor and I will be discussing an inducing date, since they want to induce at 39 weeks.

we'll see what happens...

Hospital update

ok, so we took our first trip to the hospital...and got sent home! :(

About 12am, I woke up because I was hurting. After changing positions, and timing for a while, I called the doctor.
contractions were 5 min. apart, and position change didn't change anything. It was the same whether I was sitting, standing, or lying on my left side. I felt them low and in my back...and my pain level was at about a 5-6 at the height of the contractions. All the ingredients for labor, right?
Doc said to come in, especially given my risk for precipitous labor.
Once at the hospital, the contractions started getting worse. 2.5-3 minutes apart, and were getting harder too - definitely about a 6 in pain. I wouldn't give it any more than that though, because labor with Bella was insane as far as pain goes...and that's what I'm comparing it to.

the nurse checked me, and I was "definitely a 2" but I hadn't effaced any more since my appointment Tuesday. They didn't let me go right away, given the circumstances and risks, so we stayed there for an hour, and after no progression after that hour (even though contractions continued), they sent me home.

Yes, I'd rather be safe than sorry...I'd rather be at the hospital with contractions that aren't doing anything than be at home having a baby because I didn't make it in time...
It's still just frustrating though.
Hopefully, the next time we go to the hospital, it's the real deal.
Who knows when that will be...