Bella's Questions

My pretty girl posing like mommy for a picture...

Ok, so today is a much more serious note.
Is it possible for a 3-yr-old to really understand Salvation and accept that gift so young?

A couple of months ago, Bella witnessed her first baptism.  It was entirely intentional.  I wanted her to see what a baptism was, so that she would ask questions...and the questions came like an avalanche!

Add to this, that Bella also attended her first funeral - my grandfather, Jeda, the week before Christmas.

She has been asking question after question about what happens when we die and why we get baptized, and every question you can think of that stems from those two questions.  We've had really good conversations over the past couple of months, and I've seen the wheels in her head spinning.  And ever since she saw her friend, Reagan, get baptized, she's talked about it a lot.  I've always ended our conversations with "Bella, when you decide to follow Jesus, you let me know.  Then, you'll be able to get baptized."  She usually just says "ok, mommy" and that's the end of it.  Yesterday, we had another conversation. 

Bella: "Mommy, I'm not scared to go under water anymore, so I can get baptized."

me: "Well, Bella...it's more than just not being scared of the water.  Why do we get baptized?"

Bella: "Because we decide to follow Jesus."

me: "Yes, that's right.  so when you decide to follow Jesus, you can get baptized."

Bella: "But mommy, I have decided to follow Jesus." 

me: "Really?  when did you decide to follow Jesus?"

Bella: "One day, I just decided to follow Jesus."

me: "Bella, do you know what it means to decide to follow Jesus?"

Bella: "It means that I can live with him in Heaven after I die."

me: "yes, but there's more to it than that.  What did Jesus do?"

she looks at me, confused...

"what did Jesus do on the cross?"

Bella: "He died."

me: "why did he die on the cross?"

Bella: "so that I can live with him in heaven."

me: "yes... but again, there's more to it than that.  Jesus took all of our sin.  do you understand what sin is?"

again...a blank stare.

"remember?  when we don't listen and obey what God wants us to do - that's sin?"

Bella: nods her head "like when I don't listen and obey mommy and daddy."

me: "that's right, because God says 'Children..."

Bella: "...obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."

me: "that's right.  so when we don't obey, we are sinning.  Well, Jesus...he took all the times that we don't listen and obey - all the bad things that we do - all the times we are mean to our brother - all of that.  If Jesus didn't die on the cross and take our sin, we would have to go to a very bad place when we die, called hell, and we wouldn't be with Jesus.  But Jesus took all of our sin.  It's because of him taking our sin that we can be with him in heaven when we die."

Bella: "yeah!  that's right!"

me: "so when we decide to follow Jesus, we believe that Jesus is the son of God, and that he died on the cross for our sins.  Do you believe that Jesus is the son of God?"

Bella: "yes!"

me: "do you believe that Jesus died on the cross and took away your sin so you could live with him in heaven?"

Bella: "yes, and now I can get baptized!"

me: "well, Bella, I want you to understand something else..."

Bella: "what?"

me:  "when we decide to follow Jesus, it isn't just knowing that he is God's son, and knowing that he died on the cross for us...it's also deciding every day to follow Jesus.  That means, choosing to listen and obey Jesus as much as we can all the time.  It's not about just going to heaven - it's about obeying - about living for Jesus every day."

Bella: "oh."

me: "are you going to try to obey Jesus the best you can?"

Bella: "yes."

me: "that means listening and obeying mommy and daddy..."

Bella: "...because this pleases the Lord."

me: "that's right, Bella."

Bella: "so, can I get baptized?"

me:  "I'm not sure yet, Bella, I want to keep talking to you about it, so that I know that you really understand what baptism is.  When mommy and daddy think you're ready, then you can get baptized."

Bella: "ok."

I know that it's entirely possible for a 3-yr-old to be saved.  I know this because a couple of my friends were saved very young - about the same age - and remember everything about their salvation.  So why am I so skeptical about my daughter coming to know the Lord?  Is it her lack of obedience?  Although, her obedience has actually improved the past couple of weeks...

I wonder if maybe it has to do with how I came to know the Lord.  Jesus became real to me the summer in between my 9th and 10th grade year - it was a year after I had experienced the worst tragedy of my life, and I had gone through a year of dark nothingness.  When I came to know the Lord, it was because I heard an almost audible voice say "if you keep going the way you're going, you're going to die."  I was desperate.  I had one of two choices - die, or change my life drastically.  I decided to follow Jesus instead.  I couldn't keep going on the way I was going - I was dying inside because of hurt, and I was doing everything I could to fill that empty, dark, void.  And my salvation wasn't just about being "saved" from hell, it was about me deciding to live my life for the Lord - He became the Lord of my Life at the same time.

It's hard for me to imagine someone coming to know the Lord through simple, childlike faith.  To me, it's the most difficult, yet most important thing that happened in my life, and in no way was it because of a simple, childlike faith.  I think I doubt Bella's decision to follow Jesus because she is so young, and she has such a simple faith.  She sings her heart out - her own words - to Jesus, all the time.  Her words may not be theologically correct, or flow beautifully, but she is always singing her heart out.  She is always talking about the Lord.  She's started saying her own prayers, and she has prayed for me on various occasions, with immediate outcomes at times (like a headache going away, etc.).

Could it be possible that my Bella really does get this whole Jesus thing - that she has decided to follow him, for real?

It's so very difficult for me to grasp.  Even though I have prayed for her to come to a saving knowledge of who Jesus is at a young age since before she was born, I still doubt.

I guess I need to look to Bella as an example of childlike faith - and trust that God really is answering the prayers that I have prayed over her and for her.  Lord I believe!  Help me in my unbelief!