Good-bye...and Hello

Good-bye anti-depressants!  I hope you won't be offended, but I won't be missing you one bit.  I needed you as a crutch for a while, but now that I'm getting healthy again, and feeling better, you were only making me feel worse.

Good-bye Acne!  I'm getting the nutrients that my body needs, so they aren't being stolen from my skin anymore...I can go without makeup again without feeling horribly awkward/embarrassed...and I can do it without using Acne fighting face wash or treatments...finally. 

Good-bye mood swings!  I feel like myself again.  Even when I'm angry or stressed out for the moment, self control is possible, and yelling isn't my line of defense.  I can show patience again.  I'm less easily irritated.  I'm actually enjoying my children and wanting to really play with them- and other kids too!  I don't go berserk when my surroundings get loud.  I can stop and think, breathe, etc. when I feel the least bit overwhelmed.  I like to cuddle again...and tickle...and play hide and seek...

Good-bye fatigue!  I feel motivated AND I have the energy to do whatever I'm motivated to do.

Good-bye Stress!  I feel like I can finally relax.  Take a load off.  Go with the flow.  Let things roll off my back.  Deal with issues as they arise calmly.  I do everything better without your toxic presence.

Hello genuine smiles.

Hello joyful laughter.

Hello wit.  You've been lacking.

Hello caring what I look like and wanting to look cute for my hubby.

Hello quality time.

Hello better time management.

Hello completed projects.

Hello dancing parties in the living room.

Hello "crazy" me.

Hello "Pammy hugs".

Hello extroverted side.  I've missed you.

Hello late night delirious giggles.

Hello so many parts of me that haven't been here in a while.

Hello Healing.

Thank you, my Healer

You get every bit of the glory.

My New Adventure: Homeopathy, Butter, and Getting Healthy Again

I went to a local dairy farm today. All the dairy comes from grass(not treated with pesticides)-fed Jersey cows that are not given any extra hormones.  It isn't pasteurized or homogenized.  I bought 2 gallons of raw milk, a quart of cream, a quart of yogurt, and a pound of cheddar cheese.

Bella, Balian, and Isaiah got to see a bunch of calves, one of which was very vocal with his mooing.

Before you start getting hysterical on me about how I'm going to end up in the hospital because of diseased milk, let me 'splain.  Just FYI:

In Texas, to sell raw milk, it has to be bought on the primes is of the farm, and the farm has to have a dairy retail permit.  In order to keep their permit to sell raw milk, the milk is tested once a month for any disease that people tend to think would be in unpaseurized milk (TB, etc.).

Now, let me backtrack a bit.

My Doc put me on anti-depressants.  At the time, it was a good move, because I was a wreck. For. Real.

BUT, it wasn't something I was ok with being on long-term, or for LIFE!  I felt better for the first month or so, but then, just as I had suspected, medicating didn't get to the root of the problem, but rather masked symptoms, and my symptoms started coming back.  Not ALL of them, but most of them.

I just kept having this thought that it was a nutrition issue.  Was something I was eating, not eating, etc., causing a lot of my symptoms?

I looked into the gluten thing.  I mean I had something crazy like 14 symptoms associated with gluten intolerance, and so many people seem to be sensitive to wheat, right?  It was worth a shot.  But after trying to go gluten-free for a couple of weeks, I didn't feel any better.

I really wasn't feeling depressed.  I was anxious.  Stressed out to the point that my back was tense ALL the time.  Constant loud noise just sent me through the roof, and with 3 kids noise is inevitable.  Too much going on at once, like during school-time when I was trying to teach Bella and the boys were occupied (but still moving, wiggling, or talking), were the absolute worst times.  I just couldn't handle it.

My time with Jesus- fabulous.  I feel closer to The Lord than I ever have.  Getting into the Word.  Doing prayer-walks, journaling, writing songs, and really the most constant communication I have had with Him, ever.  Actually being able to hear those still small whispers as if they were screams, at times.

I'll admit that I haven't been running lately.  I know that's huge, but seriously.  Anyone that has 3 kids and is a night owl that doesn't like to run at night, and can't get her butt out of bed any earlier...if you are able to find a way to fit it in with little ones and homeschool...along with everything else, then by all means, PLEASE share your wealth of knowledge as to how you fit it in :)

The other thing that I have thought about is that this is the first place I have lived since I started college that I haven't been a part of a small group, or had a close-knit circle of girlfriends.  I have a few girlfriends that I know from all different places, and we also have a home church.  I usually get together (via play dates) with one of my girls every week.  But one-on-one time with these ladies has been rare, if at all.  I am so thankful for carpooling to BSF with my friend, Dani.  That 45-minute drive has been such a blessing, kids in tow and all :)

I won't always be surrounded with community.  And sometimes, even when I am, I go through times of loneliness.  But honestly, right now, I don't feel lonely.  I really think that this is one of those times that God has been teaching me that He is enough.  I can only truly be satisfied in Him anyway.  Friends, fellowship, and true community are amazing Blessings, but we won't always be in a time of plenty, and wealth has many faces.  We always tend to think about money, but sometimes it's simply having a wealth of community.  Right now, my wealth is communion with The Lord. 

Jamie is a new friend of mine.  I met her at church, when she and her family moved back to Granbury from doing missions in Germany.  She is homeschooling her daughter, Victoria, who is Bella's age, and has become Bella's BFF.  She and I seem to be very like-minded, always looking for the most natural way to do things.  Talking to Jamie about the past 3 years, she just kept saying "You need to go see Barbara."

Barbara is a classic Homeopath, meaning she practices Homeopathy, or natural healing.  It's not weird.  It's actually quite logical.  Most MDs will look at the symptoms, and when you have a lot of different types of symptoms, they tend to think they are separate things.  Homeopathy looks at the whole person- physical symptoms, emotional symptoms, life events, etc., and they try to get to the root of the problem, and find how the symptoms are somehow connected.  A Homeopath will spend hours pouring over one case, trying to fit all the pieces together.

Barbara is not only a Homeopath, but she also has a background in psychology and nutrition as well.  And she at least believes that God is the Creator, based on our conversation.

She took one look at my symptoms, and said immediately that I had a lot of vitamin deficiencies.

As we dug deeper and got into medical history, life events, diet, etc., she just kept taking notes...and kept shaking her head.  Like she was saying,"this poor girl is so messed up..."

3 years ago, my labor with Balian was pretty traumatic.  Induced with Pitocin, without pain meds. They broke my water.  Fast delivery without pushing. Cord wrapped around his neck.  Body went into shock after.  Had to give me a shot to stop me from hemmoraging.  Insane, really.  For those that don't know labors otherwise, this really isn't normal.  It isn't natural.  My body rebelled.

Because of losing a lot of blood, I became deficient in vitamins and minerals necessary to deal with stress.  Add to that, not only the stress of the labor, and adjusting to a new baby, but also getting out of the Navy, moving twice in 2 months and ending up halfway across the country, the unexpected future because of Neil not having a job lined up yet, finding a home...and you get the picture.  I just couldn't handle it all.

My deficiencies continued.

The ironic part is that Barbara said that I was showing a lot of B-vitamin deficiencies, and my blood work, via the MD, came back normal, and my B12 looked amazing on paper.  Barbara explained to me that it can take up to 30 years for b-vitamin deficiencies to show up in blood work, because the body takes from vitamin stores...meaning the skin, the gums and teeth...other places in the body that need those vitamins as well (think pregnancy gengivitis, for example).  So...when symptoms show up, it is the body's way of saying it needs more nutrients.

Then, we went on a vegan diet.  Healthiest thing you can do, right?  Apparently not.  

I not only left that appointment with 3 raw vitamin supplements (you don't want to know what's in them), and a homeopathic remedy, but I also received a very different lesson on nutrition than what I have ever been taught.

When you hear "if you don't do anything else, please eat coconut oil and REAL, full-fat butter", you kinda do a double-take.

Barbara recommended that Neil and I read this book:

Interesting, huh?

Raw milk.  Culturing your own milk. Soaking flour before using it.  Sprouting grains.  Grass-fed cows.  Organic free-range eggs.  No chocolate.  Only (true) natural sweeteners.  Nothing processed.

And I thought cooking would get easier...

Pretty much the book takes nutrition back to the way that cultures have eaten traditionally, forever.

It goes so much more in depth than I have ever read about nutrition.  And that says a lot.  I've read a lot.

We typically hear that animal fats cause blocked arteries.  But we never hear that the reason behind it is not the animal products themselves, but rather the processing of them, or the way that animals are raised.

In brief, if we just consume things the proper way, the natural way that God created them, and stop mucking everything up, we would all be much, much healthier.

Not just in the way things are processed, but even the processes we use to do our cooking.

Pretty eye-opening.

But so far, I'm feeling pretty good because of the supplements, and hopefully changing my diet will help keep me from being deficient in the vitamins I need.

When I have "accidentally" forgotten to take my Rx, I've felt better, and had much better days than when I have taken it, if that says anything.

Only time will tell.

In the meantime...I've got a quart of pure cream sitting on the counter so it will sour...so I can turn it into butter and buttermilk in the morning.  Butter to cook with, and buttermilk to soak my flour in so my body digests it more easily.

Food for thought, huh?

I'd love to see your comments on this one ;)

Trust and Obey

  How many times have I told my children they need to listen, and obey- right away, all the way, in a happy way?  So many times I have wondered if I have been any kind of example for them to follow.  Do I obey God right away, all the way, in a happy way?  Or, do I hesitate, delay my obedience, only do as much as I feel comfortable doing, or grumble about what I'm supposed to do when I actually do it?

This week I have been studying about Abraham's call from God to leave everything he had known and go wherever God led him.  He had no clue where he was going when he left, and yet, he brought everyone and everything he had with him on his journey- never questioning God, but simply obeying, knowing that He who has promised is faithful.

Then, when God told Abraham to sacrifice his only son- the one in whom God said Abraham's promise would begin to be fulfilled through, he still trusted that God would keep his promise.  That He would make a way, even if it meant raising Issac from the dead. He trusted God completely, and obeyed God one step at a time, calmly and confidently.  He knew that whatever God spoke would come to pass.  Every promise would be fulfilled.  

What an incredible example of true faith and trust in God alone.

In the midst of studying Abraham, God's Word seemed to be screaming at me, if that is possible.  You see, there is this thing that the Holy Spirit has whispered softly on occasion to me over the past couple of months - putting a bug in my ear so to speak.  I never had confirmation of what I was supposed to do, but I have been praying for it.

My answer came through God's Word, and the gentle (or not so gentle) voice of the Holy Spirit.  As I'm reading and studying, He says "you know that thing that you've been wondering about- the thing that you wanted confirmation about- yeah, you need to follow Abraham's example.  I need you to act in faith and obey."

I suppose true faith comes when we give up the very thing we love the most.

Even if it is something that God has completely directed our path in.  When His fingerprints are everywhere.  When you question "surely you don't mean that, Lord."

Maybe He just wants me to show Him that I care for Him and love Him more than any hope, dream, or desire.  To show Him I love Him, the Gift- Giver more than I love the gift.  That I will trust, obey, and follow Him no matter the cost.  To make sure that He, rather than me, will be glorified.

I don't know the reason.  I don't understand it.  I have no idea what is ahead.

Does He want me to give up something good, so that He can give me His Best?

Is it simply a test of faith and obedience?

Is it a change of seasons in my life?

I have no clue.

God has asked me to step down from Praise team.

Even though music has been the constant thing in my life since I was 4 years old.

Even though God, not me, put me in specific places of leadership or training to equip me as a worship leader.

Even though our praise team hasn't finished our CD that has 2 of the songs God gave me on it.

Even though, only 2 weeks ago, He gave me this huge burst of creativity, and in a week, we finished or wrote completely 4 new songs He put on my heart.

Even though as far as we know, we are staying right where we are, in Granbury, and at Generations Church.

There are so many of those "Even though..."s.

And yet, all He has asked is for simple obedience.  Simple trust.  Simple faith.

It is definitely not simple.  Not easy by any stretch of the imagination.

But it doesn't matter.

These are the words to one of the songs I was given:

"The more I seek your face the more I seem to find my way,

It's in losing all of me that I bring glory to your name.

Help me lose control, and gain your strength, as I disappear in you,

Make less and less of me until your Spirit shines through

I need you, Lord

And with every passing hour, I know I need you more than ever

I need you more

I could never get enough of you

I need your Grace to pull me through

I need your love, oh Lord, I need you more

Take my hopes and dreams, and all my plans, and make them what you will

Take everything that's of myself, everything that's not of you

For nothing in this world could offer anything you give

Who else could speak to dead men's bones, breathe life, and make them live?

I give up

I know I'm nothing without you

Pour me out, pour me out

No matter what the cost, 

I know without you I am lost

But now, I'm finding you"

It's always amazing how God prepares my heart for the next step through giving me songs.  He is literally singing over me.

How could I NOT trust Him?

I met with our worship pastor this evening.  He wasn't happy that God was taking me away, but he released me and blessed me, and encouraged me in my walk of faith.

And that is what I am doing; walking in faith.

Now I have to be still, and do what I know to do as I wait, until in His time, He calls me to whatever His will for me may be.

May God receive Glory for whatever He is doing in me.

He who has promised is faithful.  Always.

Where's Isaiah?

Here is my lil' man showing his precious personality.  I know I'm biased, but by golly, he is the cutest kid ever! :)

Bella's Salvation Story

  My baby girl received the gift of Salvation today.

I have no doubt in my mind that it was a true heart transformation rather than simply understanding in her head.  I knew that she had wrapped her mind around it.  You can look at this post for that understanding.

But today was much different.

She knows the story.  She could tell you how you get to heaven and live with Jesus forever.  She could quote Psalm 23, or tell you all about Jonah, Joshua, Moses, Paul, Adam and Eve, and Jesus.  She sings songs to God constantly - even makes up her own.

But I was always not really sure about where she truly stood in relationship with God.  I had never seen her have a heart of true repentance.

But God...

How many times do we see those words in Scripture?

This week we have been studying about Cain and Able.  We opened God's Word together at home, we talked about it while driving in the car, and we learned even more about it at BSF.

And can I just pause here and share how amazing our God is!

Bella came home after church on Sunday with a cough and a fever of about 102.

Monday was even worse.  Her fever spiked up to 103.9 at one point. 

Tuesday she seemed to be getting better.  No medicine required to keep the fever down to low-grade.

Wednesday morning, she woke up without fever and feeling fine.

Wednesday is BSF day.  Usually I have this 24- hr. rule about fever.  If they have any fever 24 hours before they could potentially expose other kids, then we don't go.  That simple.

Wednesday morning, I thought well, low-grade yesterday, no fever this morning...she should be good to go.  That 24- hr. rule kept coming to mind, but I felt an even stronger nudging (the unquestionable kind) that we should go.  That we were going.  No questions asked.  No looking back.

When Bella arrived at her class, her teacher drew a heart on her hand and put a letter "o" inside the heart.  She told Bella that God wants us to obey Him in our hearts.

For some reason I just wanted to cry right there in the hallway.

So Bella learned all about Cain and Able.  How Able obeyed God in his heart, but Cain sinned against God in his heart.

After we got home from BSF, Bella's temp skyrocketed again to 102.8.

Of course this made me immediately feel horrible for going to BSF and exposing other kids to who knows what.

(Called the doc, went to get her checked out this morning, and she had a smidge of pneumonia.  We caught it very early.  He said it probably just started out as a cold that just settled into her lungs.)

Ok, now it's been a crazy kind of day.  Driving to Cleburne to the doctor, getting a prescription filled....oh, and Isaiah refused to take a nap because he took a cat- nap on the 20- minute drive home from CVS :(

I had asked Bella and Balian to clean up some of their stuff.  Yes, I realize she has pneumonia, but if she felt good enough to play outside and ride her bike in the driveway, she felt good enough to pick up her toys...

I was in the kitchen, with a screaming toddler at my ankles, attempting to get dinner started.  We have a pass-through from our kitchen to living room.  Bella came to the living room, crying, and was trying to talk to me about something.  I couldn't hear her because of the screaming child, so I asked her to come into the kitchen.

Then she said, "Mommy, Jesus just told me something that I don't like."

The past 2 weeks or so, Bella has been telling me at random times that Jesus told her                 .  But this was a new one.  I didn't know weather it was conviction, or if I was going to need to speak Truth over a lie of the enemy.

So, very cautiously, I asked her what Jesus had told her.

"Jesus told me that I need to obey, even if I don't want to."

Yup, that was the Holy Spirit alright.

"Yes, that's true, Bella.  I too have to obey even when I don't want to."

"I try really hard to obey, Mommy, but I just don't know how." (Sobbing)

"And I don't obey all the time either.  You know why?"

Shakes her head no.

"Because of sin.  We all sin.  We all have sin in our heart."

"My sin is blocking the Holy Spirit from my heart!" 

I think I had to pick my jaw up off the floor...how in the world does she understand such things at her age?

She is almost hysterical at this point.

"Bella, that is why we have Jesus.  That's why Jesus died for you.  You don't have to have sin in your heart.  Jesus already died for ALL of your sin.  Every sin you have already done.  Every sin you will do.  He already knew what you would do, but He died for you anyway.  He loves you, and He wants to take your sin away.  All you have to do is tell Jesus that you are sorry, tell Him what you are sorry for, then ask Him to forgive you.  And you know what?  He will.  As soon as you ask, because He already knows your heart.  He already sees that you are sorry.  He just wants to hear it from you."

"I don't like the sin in my heart."

"You know what, Bella, that is a very good thing."

"Why?"

"Because if we hate our sin, it shows that we really love Jesus."

"I DO love Jesus!"

"I know you do.  No doubt about it.  You love Jesus.  Now, do you want to talk to Him and tell Him that you are sorry?"

"Can you talk to Jesus for me?"

"No, Bella.  You have to be the one to talk to Him.  He needs to hear it from you.  He wants to hear it from your heart.  I can't tell Him that you are sorry.  Only you can do that.  If you want me to, I can start out and Pray for you, then you can pray, and ask Jesus to forgive you."

"Ok."

So I prayed for Bella, thanking God for the Work He had done in her heart.  For the beautiful child that she is.

Then Bella said simply, with a true child-like faith, "Jesus, I'm sorry for disobeying you.  Can you please take the sin out of my heart?"

I told her that Jesus was quick to forgive those that come to Him truly sorry for their sin.

She was still sobbing, and now coughing.

I told her that her sin was gone.  That she had nothing to be upset about anymore.  No reason to feel guilty or shameful.  She had been forgiven!  I told her that Satan likes to make us feel guilty, but it's only a lie.

"I don't want Satan in my heart!  I don't want sin in my heart!"

"All you have to do is tell him to leave in the Name of Jesus, and he will.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Jesus is stronger and has power over the enemy.  Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.  You know what that means?"

Shakes her head no.

"Jesus living in your heart through the Holy Spirit is stronger than Satan."

"What does resist mean?"

"Fight."

"Satan go away in the name of Jesus!"

She starts sobbing more and more.  Coughing more.  She was crying so hard that she ran to the bathroom and threw up.

Yeah, I'd say that's true repentance.

I finally picked up the screaming toddler.  For some reason I was able to just tune him out and focus on Bella, when ordinarily, that would have been almost impossible.

But it is a testimony that God's plans will never be thwarted.

No matter how much the enemy may try.

No sickness, no fever...

No screaming toddler...

No attempts of the enemy to hurt our relationship, or use me as a stumbling block in her life because of my not-so-perfect example...

Nothing can seperate us from the love of the Father.  

Nothing can stop God from completing His will.

It is a testimony of my God being stronger.

Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.

Thank you, Holy Spirit, for beginning a good work in Bella's heart.  I know that I can do nothing to change a heart.  To transform a heart to love you.  Only you can make transformation happen.  Thank you for stirring up Bella's heart, for bringing her from darkness into Light.  Thank you for guiding my feet, and speaking through me.  Thank you for the precious, priceless gift of Salvation.  For the forgiveness of sin.  For the hope we have both here, on earth, and for eternity.

You are Good.

The only One that is Good.

May you receive every bit of glory for the work you have begun.

I know that you will finish the work that you have started.  You will see it to completion, when we stand before you on Your throne.

Hallelujah!

Word for Word

Bella has had fever the past couple of days, but today she was feeling a little better...

Bella: "Mommy, can I watch a movie?"

Me: "no...you're feeling a lot better today, so I think you should play outside.  It's very pretty today."

Bella: "But Mommy, if I go outside, then I'll have to run, and my tummy hurts when I run."

Me: "You don't have to run.  You can walk, or-"

Bella: (upset, starting to tear up) "-But the grass makes me run!"

October Hymn of the Month: For the Beauty of the Earth

It's amazing how every song seems to reflect what I am studying at the moment.  This year I am studying Genesis, and when singing this hymn, I'm thinking of all the Truth that begins with Genesis 1:1 and beyond.  

For the beauty of the earth,

For the beauty of the skies,

For the love which from our birth

Over and around us lies,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the beauty of each hour

Of the day and of the night,

Hill and vale, and tree and flower,

Sun and moon and stars of light,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of human love,

Brother, sister, parent, child,

Friends on earth, and friends above,

Pleasures pure and undefiled,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

For each perfect gift of thine,

To our race so freely given,

Graces human and divine,

Flowers of earth and buds of heaven,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

For thy Church which evermore

Lifteth holy hands above,

Offering up on every shore

Her pure sacrifice of love,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

Sandboxes and Sailboats

A little bit of this...a tid-bit of that...

First, there is Balian.

He can count to...well, I can't keep count.

He recognizes numbers up to 20 or so.

He can count with 1-to-1 correlation.

So I gave him a project that I gave Bella only a year or so ago...and he did it perfectly!

I initially had to show him/explain to him what I wanted him to do, but once that was over, he had no problem putting his number flashcards in order from 1-10 (they were mixed up), then using counters and putting the correct number of counters under each number.

The next day, he did it again, completely on his own, without me having to re-explain what he needed to do.

Yes, my son hates wearing pants...

Balian also had a birthday.  We decided to do a fun family day trip rather than a party.  We celebrated by going to downtown Grapevine and taking a ride on the Tarantula train.  It's an old vintage steam-engine that is still running.

Balian loves trains.  The entire first half (30 min.) of the train ride, he had a huge smile on his face and just kept saying over and over "This is SO FUN!", with a HUGE grin on his face.

My sister still needs to send me pictures that I took on her camera.

Balian's gift from Neil and I was a sand table.  We wanted to give him something for all 3 kids to play together...outside!  A sand table was perfect.  Neil was hesitant at first, but once the kids started playing in it, he said that it was worth the work to build it. (which only took a couple of hours.) Neil got instructions online, but made it taller than the instructions said.  I think we figured out that the grand total for making this baby (including the sand and the plastic bin) was about $40.

All 3 kids have been playing in it almost non-stop.  We had to pull up a stool so Isaiah could play, but he doesn't mind...and he loves every minute of his sandy fun.

I made Bella a sewing basket.  She has loved to practice sewing with yarn, a plastic needle, and no-slip shelf liner in an embroidery hoop.  She has started to attempt sewing buttons.  I think she's ready to step it up to some cross-stitching fabric, a needlepoint needle (blunt and metal), and embroidery thread, so she can really work on sewing those buttons.

While Bella was sewing, Isaiah had fun putting pipe-cleaners into the holes of a Parmesan container.  A fabulous activity to encourage fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination.

Today, our Science lesson was learning about wind.

We made sailboats from food storage containers, paper, straws, and a bit of tape.

Easier said than done.

Then we filled up the big cooler with water...and sailed away.

Bella wanted her 2 Belles to experience sailing as well.

She blew at the sailboat and saw what wind does to sailboats.

We can't see the wind, but we can hear it and feel it, and we can see the affects of it with swaying trees, huge waves, and the like.

After our Science lesson the kids all had fun playing in the water...and getting drenched from head to toe.  Literally.

The joys of being a child! :)

And Bella is wearing an up-cycled dress I made.  Check it out in the post below.

Another Up-cycled Dress

I'm still trying to get through a box of old clothes.  The goal is to use as much as I can to make clothes for my kiddos.  We all know how pricey new pretty dresses for little girls cost.  Free is definitely cheaper, AND at the same time recycles a shirt that I would otherwise be giving away or throwing away.

This one would have been thrown away, because there were some holes in the chest area from wearing it while pregnant...and "busting" out of it.  hee hee.

This is what I started out with.

I'm horrible about making my first cut, then remembering to take a picture.

A 3/4 sleeve tunic dress shirt.

 This one was pretty complex.  I pretty much took everything apart and pieced it back together.

But amazingly enough, I was able to make an entire dress for Bella out of the pieces, and I was able to finish it in only a couple of hours.

Here is the result:

Disregard the blue and white striped daisy tights that don't match at ALL...

It's definitely not perfect, but I think it turned out really cute - and most importantly, Bella loves it :)

I love making old things into something new.

Hmm...that's a lesson of being created in God's image...

The Ugly Truth About Abortion

After reading in WORLD magazine about how much push there was in the Democratic convention for the social issues, it makes me wonder how many people advocate for abortion, not knowing what is really involved.  I remember having to watch these horrible videos so that I could volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center.  It was a requirement for us to understand what happens during an abortion, and for us to witness, through videos, what a "fetus" has to say about it.

I had to watch a video in particular, called "The Silent Scream".  It was a video of an ultrasound taken during an abortion.  I can never erase the picture of a screaming baby inside a womb, being aborted, from my mind.  It really makes me wish it was a requirement for women to see graphic videos like that before they have an abortion, so that they truly know what they are getting themselves into.

Because, in all honesty, most women probably have no clue what is involved.

But to be fair, difficult circumstances can cause any person to put blinders on, as we focus on ourselves and our circumstances.  Perhaps we think that ignorance is bliss and we just want to get it over with so we can go on with our lives the way we want.

I would like to encourage ALL of us to take off the blinders, to look outside of ourselves, and to consider the truth of the matter.

A heart begins to beat 3-4 weeks after conception.

Brain waves begin as early as 6 weeks.

Both of these begin before most women even know they are pregnant.

Premature babies born before the 3rd trimester have been known to survive.

Even babies, when fully developed and full-term are dependant on their mother (or other care-taker) to provide for their basic needs.  Left to themselves, they would die.

If we value human life, shouldn't we value ALL human life?

Do a heartbeat and brainwaves define human life?

How about multiplying, working, living, and active cells?

If not, then how do we define it?  When hands and feet are formed?  When he can fend for himself?  When he is a certain size, weight, or age?

Doesn't life end when the heart stops beating or when brain-waves cease?  When all the cells in a body stop working- stop doing their jobs- stop multiplying?

Just asking questions.

If this election is going to be a social issue fight, I think we should be armed with not just our own opinion, but rather the truth.

Here are some more resources to help you understand abortion, or to help you ponder the concept of abortion:

This one is VERY graphic.  Click on the link, then click on "Virtual Exhibit".

The Justice For All Exhibit 

This is a video that is about 45 minutes long.  A documentary interviewing people about their views on abortion.  This one has some graphic images as well.

http://www.180movie.com

Sorry. The truth of abortion is pretty ugly.

When light shines, it exposes that which has been hidden in the darkness.

Oh, and as a side note, the movie October Baby is out on DVD now.

Warning Label

WARNING: prayer walking around your driveway in circles until you get so lost in communicating with the Lord that you have no idea how many circles you've made (100 times?) when it's pitch-black outside can cause breakthroughs to happen, as well as becoming instantly addicting.  Symptoms include an unwillingness to go inside, having to force yourself to stop walking, and a worried husband wondering where his wife has been.  It is perfectly normal to have  no concept of time, allowing an hour or more to go by without even realizing it.

Highly reccommended by the Holy Spirit.  

However, the enemy has criticized this practice in the form of busy schedules, housework, laziness, fear, condemnation, guilt, self-hate, and the like.  If you experience any of these attacks, standard procedure is to rebuke the enemy by calling him a jerk and a liar, then marching your happy butt outside, whether he likes it or not.  This could cause your heart to form a target in the weakest areas, to which he can aim his flaming arrows.  If this happens, start singing praises and repeating truths of scripture repeatedly until the words penetrate your heart.

This could form a more serious addiction to the above mentioned practice of prayer-walking.

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Love This!

I love cheesy videos about parenting :)
This one even made Neil laugh by just listening to it from across the room.
Fabulous!

Hymn Time

My kids sing worship songs all the time.  Lately their favorite is from Kari Jobe- Light of the World.
But there is something amazing about hymns.  They are so rich with Scriptural depth, understanding, and wisdom.  They are songs that last forever in our hearts because of that depth.
The praise songs of today are wonderful, but even in the past 10 years or so they have changed so much.  Most just don't last in our hearts the way that hymns do (and I'm a song-writer!).
At BSF, the kids have Hymn Time and the adults sing hymns together in Worship before and after time spent with our discussion groups.
Hymns are a fabulous in helping to build a solid spiritual foundation in our children.

Because of this, we have Hymn Time during our "circle time" every morning.  Each month we will learn a new hymn.  We will work to memorize ALL of the verses because skipping verses skips over so much significance to the song.

This month our Hymn is Holy, Holy, Holy.  The kids sing at least the first verse at BSF, so I figured starting with familiar territory was good.  In teaching them, I am learning myself, and I am cherishing some of the words in this hymn for the first time.

Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty

Early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee
Holy, Holy, Holy, Merciful and Mighty
God in Three Persons, blessed Trinity

Holy, Holy, Holy, all the saints adore Thee

Casting down their golden crowns around the glassy sea
Cherubim and Seraphim, falling down before Thee
Who wert, and art, and evermore shalt be

Holy, Holy, Holy, tho' the darkness hides Thee

Tho' the eye of sinful man Thy glory may not see
Only Thou art holy, there is none beside Thee
Perfect in pow'r, in love, and purity

Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty

All Thy works shall praise Thy Name in earth, and sky, and sea
Holy, Holy, Holy, Merciful and Mighty
God in Three Persons, blessed Trinity.

School Rooms and Organized Insanity

This week has been a serious "do it to it" week.  Most of it has been gearing up for starting school this week.

Since we worked through the summer, we're already about halfway through Kindergarten, but I still wanted to get ready to hit the ground running next week (we decided to get serious about school right after Labor Day).  We'll be adding Science, as well as Art and Music appreciation, poetry, and some other little fun stuff.

Bella doing some Math work with place value

...and she built it, said it, and then wrote it...correctly :)

We have (almost) totally rearranged the entire house.  Seems that way anyway.
We put all 3 littles in the same bedroom:

Definitely not "put together" yet, but it'll get there eventually.

 Then we moved the school room to Isaiah's old bedroom, and made our Dining Room an actual Dining Room again:

We have missed having people at our house!  With things set up the way they were, we just didn't really have room to put anybody if we invited them over for a meal.  We have an expandable breakfast table in the kitchen, but expanded it always feels cramped, and when it is not expanded it only sits our family.

Neil and I would want to invite a family over for dinner, and then we'd get really stressed out trying to think about how we could make it work and everybody be able to sit down!  We decided to do what we had to do to get our dining room back.  Isaiah is old enough now that we figured it wouldn't be too hard of a transition to put him in with the older two.  The nice thing about having the school room just down the hall from their bedroom is that the bigger kids can go play in the school room when they wake up, so Isaiah will *hopefully* get a chance to sleep a bit longer.  Balian hasn't quite gotten down how to be quiet when he wakes up, but we're working on it. These things take time.

I'm really liking the school room where it is now.  Even though it's a smaller room, I feel like we have so much more room to work with.  First of all, no piano.  That stayed in the dining room.  Secondly, I can put anything on the walls that I want without sacrificing our "wall-o-pictures".  But really, let's be honest.  My favorite thing about the new school room is the fact that I now have an entire walk-in closet for school storage!!  Amazing!!  So I've been organizing like a mad-woman!  The only down-side is no flooring.  it's concrete.  We tore up the carpet, because well, it was pretty gross, and I don't like carpet in the school room.  And we haven't put anything else down at this point, so we have concrete.  But we washed it really well, so it's really clean concrete :)  I miss the wood floors that we had in the dining room, but oh well.

Here's some pictures of the new school room:

At-a-glace from the hallway door

Other side of the room from the hallway

um, yes.  love this!

The closet is seriously amazing.  Art supplies, Montessori activities for the younger ones, all of the curricula, the books we'll be using for Science, Encyclopedias, etc. fits in there!  And the shoe organizer is the topping on the cake.  Lots of the little stuff found homes here, and I can see it and find it all when I need it.

From the closet

Some of our "Read Aloud" books

More "read-alouds"

The kitchen has a new home in the hallway, just outside of the school room.  I think they use it more now.

Have I mentioned how much I love IKEA?  If I haven't, I will now.

I. Love. IKEA.

This is why:

Kid's table and chairs (and the paper reel): IKEA

Storage Bench and baskets: IKEA

Storage shelf/bookshelf and bins (in closet): IKEA

Oh yeah, and our breakfast table and chairs: you guessed it, IKEA.

Not to mention the best kid's step-stools ever for teaching boys to pee standing up (yes, I just said that).  

But as far as the school room goes, to quote Annie, "I think I'm gonna like it here!"

*This is what happens when I type when I can't sleep.  I get random songs from musicals stuck in my head.  Oh, wait, that's me ALL the time! :)*

So tomorrow the fun begins!

If you're wondering how we are going to do school, along with everything else, here's somewhat of a breakdown:

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings: basic stuff.  Chores around the house, Circle time (where we do our calendar, along with read-alouds, art and music appreciation, hymn time, poetry, etc.), reading, writing, and Math.

Wednesday mornings: BSF.

We do Bible during lunch, but that may change to dinner-time as more of a family devotional.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday afternoons: science/nature study.

Thursday afternoon: gymnastics.

Friday afternoon: grocery shopping.

outdoor play, free play, art, and handi-crafts are interspersed throughout the day.

Nap-time everyday.

Quiet time every weekday.

A girl I graduated High School with summed it up with these words: "Fun Chaos".

I can't wait!!  

Just for fun, here's some pictures of Isaiah finger-painting for the first time using Cool Whip.  Seriously the best thing to use for little ones who still want to eat everything.

Ha.  I love his face in this one.  "What?"

Home School Decisions, Part 3: How?

I'm finally getting back to my Home school series I started forever ago.  I've addressed why we chose to home-school, what method of teaching we like, and now I'm going to get into how we are going to apply all of this and actually teach.

Just like in The Sound of Music, we are going to "start at the very beginning."  It really is " a very good place to start."

The beginning in this sense is subject matter.  What am I going to teach?  A lot, actually, and we're only in Kindergarten!

First, the basics: 

Reading

I am currently going through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons with both Bella and Balian.  It takes 20 minutes per day, per child.  Bella is half-way through and she's reading paragraphs.  By the end of 100 lessons, she will be reading at a 2nd grade reading level.  Some words that she reads, she never would have been able to read at this point if we were simply teaching phonics.  It really is a fabulous way to teach a child to read.  It takes a lot of the frustration out of the equasion, because it tells you what to say, and it tells you how to correct  mistakes.  Balian is on about lesson 10.  He's reading 3-letter words and he's not quite 3.  Granted, he was already recognizing all of both the upper and lower-case letters, as well as their sounds, which is why I knew he was ready to start reading.  The biggest obstacle with him is the attention span.  I use whatever attention I can get, the most I possibly can.  We usually repeat 1 lesson several times before moving on, so that I know for sure that he's got it down.  Repetition is always good.

After we finish the 100 Lessons, in the back of the book they provide a book list for books to have the child read and what new words they need to learn to be able to read that book.  I'm going to run with that, and go through all of those books with Bella, then move on to something else.  Not sure what yet.  

Writing

Writing is pretty simple...as far as preparation goes.  As far as doing it, it is Bella's least favorite activity. 

 I use a pre-k through 2nd grade writing tablet.  

Her copy- work consists of an excerpt of something she read that day for her "story".

We usually do 1-2 sentences, or about 2 lines.  More than that, and I lose her attention.

She works diligently for 10-15 minutes (I set a timer).  At the end of that time, or when she finishes, whichever comes first, I check her work, we correct any sloppy letters, and we're finished.

Math

I like a hands-on math approach.  I also like a mastery-based approach (mastering one thing before building on that or moving on).  I have a love/hate relationship with Math.  I want our kids to love it.

We chose to use Math-U-See.  We are using the Primer- the very first book, and we're just moving at Bella's pace.  If she grasps a concept really well, then we can fly through it and move on to the next thing.  If she has difficulty with a concept we can continue to practice until she gets it down and I feel like we can move on.

Math-U-See uses manipulatives (aka, blocks) to teach the concepts.  There is a DVD that has each lesson taught in a classroom setting.  It's supposed to be to show parents how to teach their children, but I think it's good for the kids to watch it too.  Then, the parent can make sure that the child understands what was taught, and then the child can practice those concepts.

The other thing that I love about Math-U-See is that it very much emphasizes place value, which will help drastically with understanding math concepts for the duration of their schooling.

http://www.mathusee.com/

Now for the other subject matter.

Science

Science is pretty optional for Kindergarten, but I wanted to teach it.

We are going to be using 106 Days of Creation Studies, available on www.simplycharlottemason.com

The age-range recommended is 1st- 6th grade, but many people use it for Kindergarten.  It combines science with God's Word, as well as giving ideas for activities, field trips, nature studies, living books, etc.  The other advantage is that it can be used for multiple age levels, so it is a subject that can definitely be combined-always a plus! For the older kids, additional reading and activities are Supplemented. I'm sure Balian will be doing everything with us as well.

Bible

Although there is some Bible incorporated into Science as far as biblical basis, I think I may want to do more. I'll just have to see what it's like once we get into it.  If I decide to add more Bible, I'm going to use the Children Desiring God curriculum.  I want to focus on the new and old testament stories, so I'll probably use the pre-K curriculum.  However, I'm a big fan of not spending a ton of money, so I've figured out that if I get the child's book (coloring book), the visuals, and the memory verse cards, I'll be good to go to teach.

Go to www.childrendesiringgod.org for more info.

Art

Along with painting, coloring, decorating, creating, smearing, and the like - we will also be doing Artist Studies.  Essentially, we will learn about a new Artist every 4-6 weeks.  We will learn about the Artists themselves, but we will also be focusing on a different painting by that artist every week.  Example: We study Monet.  We learn all about Monet.  We learn where he lived, when he lived, what made his art special, etc.  then, each week I will put a replica of one of his paintings, in some form or another, in a place where it can be seen all week.  Computer wallpaper, screensavers, books, posters, magazines, calendars, etc. can be used for this.

Oh, but if you want a starting point for art ideas, I have really liked Art with Anything and First Art, both by MaryAnn F. Kohl.  It is pretty basic stuff, but there are a ton of recipes for home-made paint, play dough, and the like, as well as ideas on how to use those broken crayons, etc.  Wonderful!

Music

Much like art appreciation, we will be studying a different composer every 4-6 weeks.  We will listen to a specific work of that composer for a week- in the car, during "art", during quiet time, etc. so that we become familiar with that composer's work.  So if we're studying Beethoven, for a week we might listen to Beethoven's 5th Symphony.  If there are any stories behind specific pieces, we'll learn about that as well.  And when we talk about Beethoven, we will definitely be talking about how amazing it is that he wrote some of the most incredible pieces of music to this day, yet could not hear.

I'm hoping to start teaching some music theory at some point.  Not sure when.  I mean, let's just get used to all of the other stuff first, right?

Another thing I've contemplated is Geography/Social Studies.

For Geography, a curriculum that I find absolutely wonderful is Road Trip USA.  I just don't think I'm going to fit it in this year.  But if you are interested, you can get it at http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/u-s-geography

Up to this point, we've been pretty relaxed as far as school goes.  But being Bella's Kindergarten year - officially starting school for real- we've got to kick it in to gear.  Set a good routine, and stick with it.  It's absolutely possible, but it will take some adjustment - more on Bella's part then mine.  Little Miss Imaginitive doesn't like to stop her playtime...

Add chores, playtime, BSF, gymnastics, a toddler, and a 2-year-old to all of this learning fun, and we have got ourselves a pretty full day, everyday.

That doesn't even include my extras, like grocery shopping, cooking, mending and sewing, praise team, etc.

You probably wouldn't want to see my calendar.  It just might scare you.

Makes me wonder what it will be like when I'm teaching all 3...

I'm going to have to become an incredible time-manager.

To be continued...