So I've gotten a lot of questions this year about Christmas and what we do in our family to celebrate. Considering it's our first year to be in Texas and around our new friends, it makes sense. Of course, most don't really expect the answers that I give them...
2 years ago I posted a poem that I wrote about Christmas (you can read my poem here.)
This year, we've been more focused on making other new Christmas traditions. How do we really teach our kids about giving - Giving to the Lord as He gave to us - giving to those in need the things that they need - and that giving is sometimes a sacrifice? How do we replace what we have always known with something new that transforms not only ourselves and our family, but also the world around us?
My friend, Skylar, posted this video on her blog last year that kinda puts things into perspective:
Here's kind of a Q&A, based on the questions I've gotten. It's just meant to explain what we do and why. That doesn't mean we're perfect or we've got it all together - that's totally not the case. We're a work in progress, and we're just trying to do our best.
Do you do Santa? no. We will teach our kids about St. Nicholas - the man that snuck around and put alms in people's shoes and stockings as they were hanging to dry - because they desperately needed the money. He didn't want to take any credit, he just wanted to give as Christ gave. He saw a need, had the means to meet that need, and met it. We want to teach that we give to those who need because that's what Christ wants us to do - not just during Christmas but all year long. How what this man did got turned into what "Santa" is now... I have no clue...
So do you give gifts at all? Our immediate family (Neil, Bella, Balian, and I) don't exchange gifts at all at this point.
why? First off, Neil and I both realized that even though our parents tried their hardest to teach us that Chirstmas was all about Jesus, all we really cared about on Christmas morning was what we were getting. the gifts. not Christ. I know that a lot of people say that we give gifts because the wise men brought Jesus gifts. But to me, that's just the point. They came to give gifts to Jesus - the Christ, the long-expected Messiah - because of who He was. He is worthy of everything we have to give him. But do you notice how nothing was given by the wise men to Mary and Joseph? Although their faith and lives were a pivitol part of the story, they weren't the main event. Jesus was. It seems to me that all of the gifts we give each other just take away from that. What do we really give to Christ on Christmas? Is He really our focus? These are questions that we had to ask ourselves and answer truthfully, without justification...and sadly, our answers were pathetic.
So what do you do instead? We do the Jesse Tree during Advent (see here for info - scroll down to #1), we go to church, we worship together as a family, make a birthday cake for Jesus and sing to him on Christmas day, and we find ways to serve and to give. These traditions are still in the making as well. We're kinda starting from scratch here, so these things take some time. A friend of mine gave me an idea of doing a Christamas scavenger hunt with the kids on Christmas morning that revolves around Scripture. I really like this idea. we may try it out. I also just read about a really neat family tradition: Putting a big box (open and wrapped) by the tree labeled "For the children who have nothing." During the month of December the kids were to carefully think about what toys, etc.they had that they didn't need anymore. They gather them up, clean them up, and put them in the box. Then the toys are given away. You can read more about this and other ideas here.
what about extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.)? yeah...we're still in the process of trying to figure all of that out. It's hard to do things differently without making others feel like they have to change things as well. We don't want to interfere with the way others want to celebrate Christmas. We don't want to push what we do onto others. We just want to spend time with friends and family, while also being consistent in what we are teaching our kids and experiencing ourselves. We're trying to figure out the best solution for that, but haven't really come up with it yet.
The hard part is helping others realize that it isn't that we're scrooges. we aren't stingy. It's not that we just don't want to spend money or give gifts. (but seriously - do we really need them?) We love our families and want to give to them because we love them...we just feel like that should happen on a different day. In our family, we do birthdays big, because that is the day we can celebrate that one person. Christmas is Jesus' day. We want to give to Him. Give him the Glory, the Honor, and Praise. But we also want to literally give to him. How do we do that? Look up Matthew 25 (starting in verse 31) "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me." Christmas shouldn't be the only time that we give to those in need or serve God's people. But shouldn't we at least give him that on his day?
