How many times have I told my children they need to listen, and obey- right away, all the way, in a happy way? So many times I have wondered if I have been any kind of example for them to follow. Do I obey God right away, all the way, in a happy way? Or, do I hesitate, delay my obedience, only do as much as I feel comfortable doing, or grumble about what I'm supposed to do when I actually do it?
This week I have been studying about Abraham's call from God to leave everything he had known and go wherever God led him. He had no clue where he was going when he left, and yet, he brought everyone and everything he had with him on his journey- never questioning God, but simply obeying, knowing that He who has promised is faithful.
Then, when God told Abraham to sacrifice his only son- the one in whom God said Abraham's promise would begin to be fulfilled through, he still trusted that God would keep his promise. That He would make a way, even if it meant raising Issac from the dead. He trusted God completely, and obeyed God one step at a time, calmly and confidently. He knew that whatever God spoke would come to pass. Every promise would be fulfilled.
What an incredible example of true faith and trust in God alone.
In the midst of studying Abraham, God's Word seemed to be screaming at me, if that is possible. You see, there is this thing that the Holy Spirit has whispered softly on occasion to me over the past couple of months - putting a bug in my ear so to speak. I never had confirmation of what I was supposed to do, but I have been praying for it.
My answer came through God's Word, and the gentle (or not so gentle) voice of the Holy Spirit. As I'm reading and studying, He says "you know that thing that you've been wondering about- the thing that you wanted confirmation about- yeah, you need to follow Abraham's example. I need you to act in faith and obey."
I suppose true faith comes when we give up the very thing we love the most.
Even if it is something that God has completely directed our path in. When His fingerprints are everywhere. When you question "surely you don't mean that, Lord."
Maybe He just wants me to show Him that I care for Him and love Him more than any hope, dream, or desire. To show Him I love Him, the Gift- Giver more than I love the gift. That I will trust, obey, and follow Him no matter the cost. To make sure that He, rather than me, will be glorified.
I don't know the reason. I don't understand it. I have no idea what is ahead.
Does He want me to give up something good, so that He can give me His Best?
Is it simply a test of faith and obedience?
Is it a change of seasons in my life?
I have no clue.
God has asked me to step down from Praise team.
Even though music has been the constant thing in my life since I was 4 years old.
Even though God, not me, put me in specific places of leadership or training to equip me as a worship leader.
Even though our praise team hasn't finished our CD that has 2 of the songs God gave me on it.
Even though, only 2 weeks ago, He gave me this huge burst of creativity, and in a week, we finished or wrote completely 4 new songs He put on my heart.
Even though as far as we know, we are staying right where we are, in Granbury, and at Generations Church.
There are so many of those "Even though..."s.
And yet, all He has asked is for simple obedience. Simple trust. Simple faith.
It is definitely not simple. Not easy by any stretch of the imagination.
But it doesn't matter.
These are the words to one of the songs I was given:
"The more I seek your face the more I seem to find my way,
It's in losing all of me that I bring glory to your name.
Help me lose control, and gain your strength, as I disappear in you,
Make less and less of me until your Spirit shines through
I need you, Lord
And with every passing hour, I know I need you more than ever
I need you more
I could never get enough of you
I need your Grace to pull me through
I need your love, oh Lord, I need you more
Take my hopes and dreams, and all my plans, and make them what you will
Take everything that's of myself, everything that's not of you
For nothing in this world could offer anything you give
Who else could speak to dead men's bones, breathe life, and make them live?
I give up
I know I'm nothing without you
Pour me out, pour me out
No matter what the cost,
I know without you I am lost
But now, I'm finding you"
It's always amazing how God prepares my heart for the next step through giving me songs. He is literally singing over me.
How could I NOT trust Him?
I met with our worship pastor this evening. He wasn't happy that God was taking me away, but he released me and blessed me, and encouraged me in my walk of faith.
And that is what I am doing; walking in faith.
Now I have to be still, and do what I know to do as I wait, until in His time, He calls me to whatever His will for me may be.
May God receive Glory for whatever He is doing in me.
He who has promised is faithful. Always.
