Trust and Obey

  How many times have I told my children they need to listen, and obey- right away, all the way, in a happy way?  So many times I have wondered if I have been any kind of example for them to follow.  Do I obey God right away, all the way, in a happy way?  Or, do I hesitate, delay my obedience, only do as much as I feel comfortable doing, or grumble about what I'm supposed to do when I actually do it?

This week I have been studying about Abraham's call from God to leave everything he had known and go wherever God led him.  He had no clue where he was going when he left, and yet, he brought everyone and everything he had with him on his journey- never questioning God, but simply obeying, knowing that He who has promised is faithful.

Then, when God told Abraham to sacrifice his only son- the one in whom God said Abraham's promise would begin to be fulfilled through, he still trusted that God would keep his promise.  That He would make a way, even if it meant raising Issac from the dead. He trusted God completely, and obeyed God one step at a time, calmly and confidently.  He knew that whatever God spoke would come to pass.  Every promise would be fulfilled.  

What an incredible example of true faith and trust in God alone.

In the midst of studying Abraham, God's Word seemed to be screaming at me, if that is possible.  You see, there is this thing that the Holy Spirit has whispered softly on occasion to me over the past couple of months - putting a bug in my ear so to speak.  I never had confirmation of what I was supposed to do, but I have been praying for it.

My answer came through God's Word, and the gentle (or not so gentle) voice of the Holy Spirit.  As I'm reading and studying, He says "you know that thing that you've been wondering about- the thing that you wanted confirmation about- yeah, you need to follow Abraham's example.  I need you to act in faith and obey."

I suppose true faith comes when we give up the very thing we love the most.

Even if it is something that God has completely directed our path in.  When His fingerprints are everywhere.  When you question "surely you don't mean that, Lord."

Maybe He just wants me to show Him that I care for Him and love Him more than any hope, dream, or desire.  To show Him I love Him, the Gift- Giver more than I love the gift.  That I will trust, obey, and follow Him no matter the cost.  To make sure that He, rather than me, will be glorified.

I don't know the reason.  I don't understand it.  I have no idea what is ahead.

Does He want me to give up something good, so that He can give me His Best?

Is it simply a test of faith and obedience?

Is it a change of seasons in my life?

I have no clue.

God has asked me to step down from Praise team.

Even though music has been the constant thing in my life since I was 4 years old.

Even though God, not me, put me in specific places of leadership or training to equip me as a worship leader.

Even though our praise team hasn't finished our CD that has 2 of the songs God gave me on it.

Even though, only 2 weeks ago, He gave me this huge burst of creativity, and in a week, we finished or wrote completely 4 new songs He put on my heart.

Even though as far as we know, we are staying right where we are, in Granbury, and at Generations Church.

There are so many of those "Even though..."s.

And yet, all He has asked is for simple obedience.  Simple trust.  Simple faith.

It is definitely not simple.  Not easy by any stretch of the imagination.

But it doesn't matter.

These are the words to one of the songs I was given:

"The more I seek your face the more I seem to find my way,

It's in losing all of me that I bring glory to your name.

Help me lose control, and gain your strength, as I disappear in you,

Make less and less of me until your Spirit shines through

I need you, Lord

And with every passing hour, I know I need you more than ever

I need you more

I could never get enough of you

I need your Grace to pull me through

I need your love, oh Lord, I need you more

Take my hopes and dreams, and all my plans, and make them what you will

Take everything that's of myself, everything that's not of you

For nothing in this world could offer anything you give

Who else could speak to dead men's bones, breathe life, and make them live?

I give up

I know I'm nothing without you

Pour me out, pour me out

No matter what the cost, 

I know without you I am lost

But now, I'm finding you"

It's always amazing how God prepares my heart for the next step through giving me songs.  He is literally singing over me.

How could I NOT trust Him?

I met with our worship pastor this evening.  He wasn't happy that God was taking me away, but he released me and blessed me, and encouraged me in my walk of faith.

And that is what I am doing; walking in faith.

Now I have to be still, and do what I know to do as I wait, until in His time, He calls me to whatever His will for me may be.

May God receive Glory for whatever He is doing in me.

He who has promised is faithful.  Always.

Where's Isaiah?

Here is my lil' man showing his precious personality.  I know I'm biased, but by golly, he is the cutest kid ever! :)

Bella's Salvation Story

  My baby girl received the gift of Salvation today.

I have no doubt in my mind that it was a true heart transformation rather than simply understanding in her head.  I knew that she had wrapped her mind around it.  You can look at this post for that understanding.

But today was much different.

She knows the story.  She could tell you how you get to heaven and live with Jesus forever.  She could quote Psalm 23, or tell you all about Jonah, Joshua, Moses, Paul, Adam and Eve, and Jesus.  She sings songs to God constantly - even makes up her own.

But I was always not really sure about where she truly stood in relationship with God.  I had never seen her have a heart of true repentance.

But God...

How many times do we see those words in Scripture?

This week we have been studying about Cain and Able.  We opened God's Word together at home, we talked about it while driving in the car, and we learned even more about it at BSF.

And can I just pause here and share how amazing our God is!

Bella came home after church on Sunday with a cough and a fever of about 102.

Monday was even worse.  Her fever spiked up to 103.9 at one point. 

Tuesday she seemed to be getting better.  No medicine required to keep the fever down to low-grade.

Wednesday morning, she woke up without fever and feeling fine.

Wednesday is BSF day.  Usually I have this 24- hr. rule about fever.  If they have any fever 24 hours before they could potentially expose other kids, then we don't go.  That simple.

Wednesday morning, I thought well, low-grade yesterday, no fever this morning...she should be good to go.  That 24- hr. rule kept coming to mind, but I felt an even stronger nudging (the unquestionable kind) that we should go.  That we were going.  No questions asked.  No looking back.

When Bella arrived at her class, her teacher drew a heart on her hand and put a letter "o" inside the heart.  She told Bella that God wants us to obey Him in our hearts.

For some reason I just wanted to cry right there in the hallway.

So Bella learned all about Cain and Able.  How Able obeyed God in his heart, but Cain sinned against God in his heart.

After we got home from BSF, Bella's temp skyrocketed again to 102.8.

Of course this made me immediately feel horrible for going to BSF and exposing other kids to who knows what.

(Called the doc, went to get her checked out this morning, and she had a smidge of pneumonia.  We caught it very early.  He said it probably just started out as a cold that just settled into her lungs.)

Ok, now it's been a crazy kind of day.  Driving to Cleburne to the doctor, getting a prescription filled....oh, and Isaiah refused to take a nap because he took a cat- nap on the 20- minute drive home from CVS :(

I had asked Bella and Balian to clean up some of their stuff.  Yes, I realize she has pneumonia, but if she felt good enough to play outside and ride her bike in the driveway, she felt good enough to pick up her toys...

I was in the kitchen, with a screaming toddler at my ankles, attempting to get dinner started.  We have a pass-through from our kitchen to living room.  Bella came to the living room, crying, and was trying to talk to me about something.  I couldn't hear her because of the screaming child, so I asked her to come into the kitchen.

Then she said, "Mommy, Jesus just told me something that I don't like."

The past 2 weeks or so, Bella has been telling me at random times that Jesus told her                 .  But this was a new one.  I didn't know weather it was conviction, or if I was going to need to speak Truth over a lie of the enemy.

So, very cautiously, I asked her what Jesus had told her.

"Jesus told me that I need to obey, even if I don't want to."

Yup, that was the Holy Spirit alright.

"Yes, that's true, Bella.  I too have to obey even when I don't want to."

"I try really hard to obey, Mommy, but I just don't know how." (Sobbing)

"And I don't obey all the time either.  You know why?"

Shakes her head no.

"Because of sin.  We all sin.  We all have sin in our heart."

"My sin is blocking the Holy Spirit from my heart!" 

I think I had to pick my jaw up off the floor...how in the world does she understand such things at her age?

She is almost hysterical at this point.

"Bella, that is why we have Jesus.  That's why Jesus died for you.  You don't have to have sin in your heart.  Jesus already died for ALL of your sin.  Every sin you have already done.  Every sin you will do.  He already knew what you would do, but He died for you anyway.  He loves you, and He wants to take your sin away.  All you have to do is tell Jesus that you are sorry, tell Him what you are sorry for, then ask Him to forgive you.  And you know what?  He will.  As soon as you ask, because He already knows your heart.  He already sees that you are sorry.  He just wants to hear it from you."

"I don't like the sin in my heart."

"You know what, Bella, that is a very good thing."

"Why?"

"Because if we hate our sin, it shows that we really love Jesus."

"I DO love Jesus!"

"I know you do.  No doubt about it.  You love Jesus.  Now, do you want to talk to Him and tell Him that you are sorry?"

"Can you talk to Jesus for me?"

"No, Bella.  You have to be the one to talk to Him.  He needs to hear it from you.  He wants to hear it from your heart.  I can't tell Him that you are sorry.  Only you can do that.  If you want me to, I can start out and Pray for you, then you can pray, and ask Jesus to forgive you."

"Ok."

So I prayed for Bella, thanking God for the Work He had done in her heart.  For the beautiful child that she is.

Then Bella said simply, with a true child-like faith, "Jesus, I'm sorry for disobeying you.  Can you please take the sin out of my heart?"

I told her that Jesus was quick to forgive those that come to Him truly sorry for their sin.

She was still sobbing, and now coughing.

I told her that her sin was gone.  That she had nothing to be upset about anymore.  No reason to feel guilty or shameful.  She had been forgiven!  I told her that Satan likes to make us feel guilty, but it's only a lie.

"I don't want Satan in my heart!  I don't want sin in my heart!"

"All you have to do is tell him to leave in the Name of Jesus, and he will.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Jesus is stronger and has power over the enemy.  Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.  You know what that means?"

Shakes her head no.

"Jesus living in your heart through the Holy Spirit is stronger than Satan."

"What does resist mean?"

"Fight."

"Satan go away in the name of Jesus!"

She starts sobbing more and more.  Coughing more.  She was crying so hard that she ran to the bathroom and threw up.

Yeah, I'd say that's true repentance.

I finally picked up the screaming toddler.  For some reason I was able to just tune him out and focus on Bella, when ordinarily, that would have been almost impossible.

But it is a testimony that God's plans will never be thwarted.

No matter how much the enemy may try.

No sickness, no fever...

No screaming toddler...

No attempts of the enemy to hurt our relationship, or use me as a stumbling block in her life because of my not-so-perfect example...

Nothing can seperate us from the love of the Father.  

Nothing can stop God from completing His will.

It is a testimony of my God being stronger.

Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.

Thank you, Holy Spirit, for beginning a good work in Bella's heart.  I know that I can do nothing to change a heart.  To transform a heart to love you.  Only you can make transformation happen.  Thank you for stirring up Bella's heart, for bringing her from darkness into Light.  Thank you for guiding my feet, and speaking through me.  Thank you for the precious, priceless gift of Salvation.  For the forgiveness of sin.  For the hope we have both here, on earth, and for eternity.

You are Good.

The only One that is Good.

May you receive every bit of glory for the work you have begun.

I know that you will finish the work that you have started.  You will see it to completion, when we stand before you on Your throne.

Hallelujah!

Word for Word

Bella has had fever the past couple of days, but today she was feeling a little better...

Bella: "Mommy, can I watch a movie?"

Me: "no...you're feeling a lot better today, so I think you should play outside.  It's very pretty today."

Bella: "But Mommy, if I go outside, then I'll have to run, and my tummy hurts when I run."

Me: "You don't have to run.  You can walk, or-"

Bella: (upset, starting to tear up) "-But the grass makes me run!"

October Hymn of the Month: For the Beauty of the Earth

It's amazing how every song seems to reflect what I am studying at the moment.  This year I am studying Genesis, and when singing this hymn, I'm thinking of all the Truth that begins with Genesis 1:1 and beyond.  

For the beauty of the earth,

For the beauty of the skies,

For the love which from our birth

Over and around us lies,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the beauty of each hour

Of the day and of the night,

Hill and vale, and tree and flower,

Sun and moon and stars of light,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of human love,

Brother, sister, parent, child,

Friends on earth, and friends above,

Pleasures pure and undefiled,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

For each perfect gift of thine,

To our race so freely given,

Graces human and divine,

Flowers of earth and buds of heaven,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

For thy Church which evermore

Lifteth holy hands above,

Offering up on every shore

Her pure sacrifice of love,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

Sandboxes and Sailboats

A little bit of this...a tid-bit of that...

First, there is Balian.

He can count to...well, I can't keep count.

He recognizes numbers up to 20 or so.

He can count with 1-to-1 correlation.

So I gave him a project that I gave Bella only a year or so ago...and he did it perfectly!

I initially had to show him/explain to him what I wanted him to do, but once that was over, he had no problem putting his number flashcards in order from 1-10 (they were mixed up), then using counters and putting the correct number of counters under each number.

The next day, he did it again, completely on his own, without me having to re-explain what he needed to do.

Yes, my son hates wearing pants...

Balian also had a birthday.  We decided to do a fun family day trip rather than a party.  We celebrated by going to downtown Grapevine and taking a ride on the Tarantula train.  It's an old vintage steam-engine that is still running.

Balian loves trains.  The entire first half (30 min.) of the train ride, he had a huge smile on his face and just kept saying over and over "This is SO FUN!", with a HUGE grin on his face.

My sister still needs to send me pictures that I took on her camera.

Balian's gift from Neil and I was a sand table.  We wanted to give him something for all 3 kids to play together...outside!  A sand table was perfect.  Neil was hesitant at first, but once the kids started playing in it, he said that it was worth the work to build it. (which only took a couple of hours.) Neil got instructions online, but made it taller than the instructions said.  I think we figured out that the grand total for making this baby (including the sand and the plastic bin) was about $40.

All 3 kids have been playing in it almost non-stop.  We had to pull up a stool so Isaiah could play, but he doesn't mind...and he loves every minute of his sandy fun.

I made Bella a sewing basket.  She has loved to practice sewing with yarn, a plastic needle, and no-slip shelf liner in an embroidery hoop.  She has started to attempt sewing buttons.  I think she's ready to step it up to some cross-stitching fabric, a needlepoint needle (blunt and metal), and embroidery thread, so she can really work on sewing those buttons.

While Bella was sewing, Isaiah had fun putting pipe-cleaners into the holes of a Parmesan container.  A fabulous activity to encourage fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination.

Today, our Science lesson was learning about wind.

We made sailboats from food storage containers, paper, straws, and a bit of tape.

Easier said than done.

Then we filled up the big cooler with water...and sailed away.

Bella wanted her 2 Belles to experience sailing as well.

She blew at the sailboat and saw what wind does to sailboats.

We can't see the wind, but we can hear it and feel it, and we can see the affects of it with swaying trees, huge waves, and the like.

After our Science lesson the kids all had fun playing in the water...and getting drenched from head to toe.  Literally.

The joys of being a child! :)

And Bella is wearing an up-cycled dress I made.  Check it out in the post below.

Another Up-cycled Dress

I'm still trying to get through a box of old clothes.  The goal is to use as much as I can to make clothes for my kiddos.  We all know how pricey new pretty dresses for little girls cost.  Free is definitely cheaper, AND at the same time recycles a shirt that I would otherwise be giving away or throwing away.

This one would have been thrown away, because there were some holes in the chest area from wearing it while pregnant...and "busting" out of it.  hee hee.

This is what I started out with.

I'm horrible about making my first cut, then remembering to take a picture.

A 3/4 sleeve tunic dress shirt.

 This one was pretty complex.  I pretty much took everything apart and pieced it back together.

But amazingly enough, I was able to make an entire dress for Bella out of the pieces, and I was able to finish it in only a couple of hours.

Here is the result:

Disregard the blue and white striped daisy tights that don't match at ALL...

It's definitely not perfect, but I think it turned out really cute - and most importantly, Bella loves it :)

I love making old things into something new.

Hmm...that's a lesson of being created in God's image...