Saturday, December 29, 2012

Good-bye...and Hello

Good-bye anti-depressants!  I hope you won't be offended, but I won't be missing you one bit.  I needed you as a crutch for a while, but now that I'm getting healthy again, and feeling better, you were only making me feel worse.

Good-bye Acne!  I'm getting the nutrients that my body needs, so they aren't being stolen from my skin anymore...I can go without makeup again without feeling horribly awkward/embarrassed...and I can do it without using Acne fighting face wash or treatments...finally. 

Good-bye mood swings!  I feel like myself again.  Even when I'm angry or stressed out for the moment, self control is possible, and yelling isn't my line of defense.  I can show patience again.  I'm less easily irritated.  I'm actually enjoying my children and wanting to really play with them- and other kids too!  I don't go berserk when my surroundings get loud.  I can stop and think, breathe, etc. when I feel the least bit overwhelmed.  I like to cuddle again...and tickle...and play hide and seek...

Good-bye fatigue!  I feel motivated AND I have the energy to do whatever I'm motivated to do.

Good-bye Stress!  I feel like I can finally relax.  Take a load off.  Go with the flow.  Let things roll off my back.  Deal with issues as they arise calmly.  I do everything better without your toxic presence.

Hello genuine smiles.
Hello joyful laughter.
Hello wit.  You've been lacking.
Hello caring what I look like and wanting to look cute for my hubby.
Hello quality time.
Hello better time management.
Hello completed projects.
Hello dancing parties in the living room.
Hello "crazy" me.
Hello "Pammy hugs".
Hello extroverted side.  I've missed you.
Hello late night delirious giggles.
Hello so many parts of me that haven't been here in a while.

Hello Healing.
Thank you, my Healer
You get every bit of the glory.





Friday, December 7, 2012

My New Adventure: Homeopathy, Butter, and Getting Healthy Again

I went to a local dairy farm today. All the dairy comes from grass(not treated with pesticides)-fed Jersey cows that are not given any extra hormones.  It isn't pasteurized or homogenized.  I bought 2 gallons of raw milk, a quart of cream, a quart of yogurt, and a pound of cheddar cheese.
Bella, Balian, and Isaiah got to see a bunch of calves, one of which was very vocal with his mooing.

Before you start getting hysterical on me about how I'm going to end up in the hospital because of diseased milk, let me 'splain.  Just FYI:
In Texas, to sell raw milk, it has to be bought on the primes is of the farm, and the farm has to have a dairy retail permit.  In order to keep their permit to sell raw milk, the milk is tested once a month for any disease that people tend to think would be in unpaseurized milk (TB, etc.).

Now, let me backtrack a bit.

My Doc put me on anti-depressants.  At the time, it was a good move, because I was a wreck. For. Real.
BUT, it wasn't something I was ok with being on long-term, or for LIFE!  I felt better for the first month or so, but then, just as I had suspected, medicating didn't get to the root of the problem, but rather masked symptoms, and my symptoms started coming back.  Not ALL of them, but most of them.
I just kept having this thought that it was a nutrition issue.  Was something I was eating, not eating, etc., causing a lot of my symptoms?
I looked into the gluten thing.  I mean I had something crazy like 14 symptoms associated with gluten intolerance, and so many people seem to be sensitive to wheat, right?  It was worth a shot.  But after trying to go gluten-free for a couple of weeks, I didn't feel any better.
I really wasn't feeling depressed.  I was anxious.  Stressed out to the point that my back was tense ALL the time.  Constant loud noise just sent me through the roof, and with 3 kids noise is inevitable.  Too much going on at once, like during school-time when I was trying to teach Bella and the boys were occupied (but still moving, wiggling, or talking), were the absolute worst times.  I just couldn't handle it.
My time with Jesus- fabulous.  I feel closer to The Lord than I ever have.  Getting into the Word.  Doing prayer-walks, journaling, writing songs, and really the most constant communication I have had with Him, ever.  Actually being able to hear those still small whispers as if they were screams, at times.

I'll admit that I haven't been running lately.  I know that's huge, but seriously.  Anyone that has 3 kids and is a night owl that doesn't like to run at night, and can't get her butt out of bed any earlier...if you are able to find a way to fit it in with little ones and homeschool...along with everything else, then by all means, PLEASE share your wealth of knowledge as to how you fit it in :)

The other thing that I have thought about is that this is the first place I have lived since I started college that I haven't been a part of a small group, or had a close-knit circle of girlfriends.  I have a few girlfriends that I know from all different places, and we also have a home church.  I usually get together (via play dates) with one of my girls every week.  But one-on-one time with these ladies has been rare, if at all.  I am so thankful for carpooling to BSF with my friend, Dani.  That 45-minute drive has been such a blessing, kids in tow and all :)

I won't always be surrounded with community.  And sometimes, even when I am, I go through times of loneliness.  But honestly, right now, I don't feel lonely.  I really think that this is one of those times that God has been teaching me that He is enough.  I can only truly be satisfied in Him anyway.  Friends, fellowship, and true community are amazing Blessings, but we won't always be in a time of plenty, and wealth has many faces.  We always tend to think about money, but sometimes it's simply having a wealth of community.  Right now, my wealth is communion with The Lord. 

Jamie is a new friend of mine.  I met her at church, when she and her family moved back to Granbury from doing missions in Germany.  She is homeschooling her daughter, Victoria, who is Bella's age, and has become Bella's BFF.  She and I seem to be very like-minded, always looking for the most natural way to do things.  Talking to Jamie about the past 3 years, she just kept saying "You need to go see Barbara."

Barbara is a classic Homeopath, meaning she practices Homeopathy, or natural healing.  It's not weird.  It's actually quite logical.  Most MDs will look at the symptoms, and when you have a lot of different types of symptoms, they tend to think they are separate things.  Homeopathy looks at the whole person- physical symptoms, emotional symptoms, life events, etc., and they try to get to the root of the problem, and find how the symptoms are somehow connected.  A Homeopath will spend hours pouring over one case, trying to fit all the pieces together.
Barbara is not only a Homeopath, but she also has a background in psychology and nutrition as well.  And she at least believes that God is the Creator, based on our conversation.
She took one look at my symptoms, and said immediately that I had a lot of vitamin deficiencies.
As we dug deeper and got into medical history, life events, diet, etc., she just kept taking notes...and kept shaking her head.  Like she was saying,"this poor girl is so messed up..."
3 years ago, my labor with Balian was pretty traumatic.  Induced with Pitocin, without pain meds. They broke my water.  Fast delivery without pushing. Cord wrapped around his neck.  Body went into shock after.  Had to give me a shot to stop me from hemmoraging.  Insane, really.  For those that don't know labors otherwise, this really isn't normal.  It isn't natural.  My body rebelled.
Because of losing a lot of blood, I became deficient in vitamins and minerals necessary to deal with stress.  Add to that, not only the stress of the labor, and adjusting to a new baby, but also getting out of the Navy, moving twice in 2 months and ending up halfway across the country, the unexpected future because of Neil not having a job lined up yet, finding a home...and you get the picture.  I just couldn't handle it all.
My deficiencies continued.
The ironic part is that Barbara said that I was showing a lot of B-vitamin deficiencies, and my blood work, via the MD, came back normal, and my B12 looked amazing on paper.  Barbara explained to me that it can take up to 30 years for b-vitamin deficiencies to show up in blood work, because the body takes from vitamin stores...meaning the skin, the gums and teeth...other places in the body that need those vitamins as well (think pregnancy gengivitis, for example).  So...when symptoms show up, it is the body's way of saying it needs more nutrients.

Then, we went on a vegan diet.  Healthiest thing you can do, right?  Apparently not.  
I not only left that appointment with 3 raw vitamin supplements (you don't want to know what's in them), and a homeopathic remedy, but I also received a very different lesson on nutrition than what I have ever been taught.
When you hear "if you don't do anything else, please eat coconut oil and REAL, full-fat butter", you kinda do a double-take.
Barbara recommended that Neil and I read this book:

Interesting, huh?
Raw milk.  Culturing your own milk. Soaking flour before using it.  Sprouting grains.  Grass-fed cows.  Organic free-range eggs.  No chocolate.  Only (true) natural sweeteners.  Nothing processed.
And I thought cooking would get easier...
Pretty much the book takes nutrition back to the way that cultures have eaten traditionally, forever.
It goes so much more in depth than I have ever read about nutrition.  And that says a lot.  I've read a lot.
We typically hear that animal fats cause blocked arteries.  But we never hear that the reason behind it is not the animal products themselves, but rather the processing of them, or the way that animals are raised.
In brief, if we just consume things the proper way, the natural way that God created them, and stop mucking everything up, we would all be much, much healthier.
Not just in the way things are processed, but even the processes we use to do our cooking.
Pretty eye-opening.

But so far, I'm feeling pretty good because of the supplements, and hopefully changing my diet will help keep me from being deficient in the vitamins I need.
When I have "accidentally" forgotten to take my Rx, I've felt better, and had much better days than when I have taken it, if that says anything.

Only time will tell.
In the meantime...I've got a quart of pure cream sitting on the counter so it will sour...so I can turn it into butter and buttermilk in the morning.  Butter to cook with, and buttermilk to soak my flour in so my body digests it more easily.
Food for thought, huh?

I'd love to see your comments on this one ;)